Sunday, December 27, 2009

Blue Jackets recap

Me, after the game

The BJs started best and after a couple of minutes Abbie took a stupid interference penalty. It was killed nicely. Right after that Homer got unlucky and took a tripping minor. Yeah, that's the start we wanted. And yeah, Murph was drunk. The PK as great and involved Dats feeding Filppula shorthanded, but Val missed by an inch. Actually the Wings were better shothanded than 5-on-5 during the first 10 minutes, but around the midway mark Bert hit the post. The BJs got their first goal off a HORRIBLE turnover by Meech. I hope Meech gets a headache and leaves the game. Fuck! With six minutes left of the period Malts drew a PP. I tried not praying this time.
When the best you get is a couple of point shots from Meech the PP ain't good. When the Wings got another PP with 3 mins left in the period I decided to pray to James Allan Hetfield of Metallica, maybe he truly is God? Nope, the Jackets had better chances on it actually. Congratulations guys, the fuckin Blue Jackets outplayed you in this one! 15-6 in shots.

The second started with BJ-pressure and horrible Janik turnover. No goal on that on though. Then the Wings took over and Stuart hit both posts with a shot. It was reviewed brielfy, but no goal. Born under a bad sing, I've been down since I began to crawl, if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all... Search Cream Born under a bad sign on Youtube. Then Doug "career AHLer" Janik took a cheap penalty. Dangerous PP, but Howard and Rafa saved the Wings. And then Helm drew a penalty. I decided to pray to Frank Zappa this time, maybe he is God? YES! Dats gave Bert a breakaway, he sent Garon on his arse and scored. So Frank actually is God? That explains A LOT. Let's also take a moment to thank Michael Petrella for this one. He is at the game, and it must have been for him. This seemed to fire the Wings up, through the next minutes they got some nice chances and bertuzzi ravaged Nash. Nice! Then with 6 and half minute left of the period the Wings got another PP. Homer almost blew Garon's head off, the refs didn't blow the play off until the Wings had gathered the puck in their own zone and were entering the BJ-zone again. CENTER FACE OFF! Thanks Gary. Ass. No success on this one. And then Bertuzzi took a dumb offensive zone penalty. The Jackets seemed like they scored, but Darren Helm brilliantly saved it on the line! Killed off. The Wings had pressure at the end of the period.

The third started with some good Wings pressure. TUZZI! Rafa shot the puck in behind the net, it bounced out to the other side where Tuzzi put it into the open net. The next minutes were back on forth with some good BJ-chances. Abbie had a glorious chance from Meech, but Garon saved it nicely. Around the midway mark the Wings got another PP. Nice chance to add insurance. Nothing happened on the PP except for a glorious BJ 2-on-1 and two trips on Red Wings that went by uncalled. That seemed to wake the BJs who pressured hard after that, but the wings defended themselves greatly. With 4 mins left it became 4-on-4 for a reason I didn't get because of a feed error. Helm made himself a good chance, but missed. When the BJs took their goalie out Flips came close, but missed and it all ended 2-1. Finally a W! Nice.

- Brad May is about as useful as a Zamboni in Sahara.
- Brett Lebda is NOT and will NEVER be an NHL-quality player.
- Derek Meech is NOT and will NEVER be an NHL-quality player.
- Doug Janik is NOT and has NEVER been an NHL-quality player.
- Jimmah is the man and the man of men and even better than that. Without him this team would be dead.
- Bertuzzi is the man. Except when he takes penalties.
- Sami Påhlsson, ex-Duck, ex-Hawk, can it become more disgusting?
- Maybe if Dan O'Halleran got a BJ too he'd stop being such a PMSing dickwad.
- American commercials are really, really shitty.
- Darren Helm is really, really fast.
- I spent the intermissions listening to Cream, they were really, really awesome. How did Clapton turn from that great to that horrible that fast?
- No, Shaq cannot stay for dinner!
- Try and read all the BJ-something I wrote. They're all quite good.
- The Wings hadn't won a game since I got my new, awesome haircut. I was starting to get worried.
- Voracek had a great game for the BJs. He was a good BJ. (sorry, that was a bad one)
- 1 shit period, 2 good ones and a W, I'll take it.

Keys to the game
- Will Filppula be awesome?
Well, he kinda blew his coverage on the first Nash goal. But he fired the PP up and looked pretty great. Not amazing, but great. As expected, just a little bit better than that.

- How does his hair look?
Awesome as always. You just wanna bask in it!

- Does he make Leino Better?
Couldn't get worse, but didn't get MUCH better either.

- Can the first line produce again?
YES! Berts goals were things of beauty!

- Can Nick get a goal?
What do you think?

- Can Janik not make me wanna poke my eyes out from bad defensive plays?
Fat. Fucking. Chance.

Play of the game
Darren frickin Helm saving a goal on the line. That was awesome. I want a huge screen in the roof of my bedroom and the replay of that on a loop on it.

Wing of the game
Todd Bertuzzi. 2 goals, can't really ask for much more


  1. The pleasure was all mine, really. He LITERALLY looked into the crowd after that first goal, into the section next to mine. I think if he knew what I looked like, he may have tried harder to find me.

    Check out TPL for potential wager....

  2. Hehe, maybe. Who knows, maybe he actually reads you!

  3. I hate 7:00 games. The Wings NEVER show up to play during the first period during these games!! Really, they should just change every single remaining game to 8:00, when the boys actually start showing up. I realize there's TV contracts and stuff here, but seriously! Which makes me worried about the Colorado game tomorrow...also a 7:00 start time. Also, my cousin & I are spending two wonderful afternoons at the Joe watching some college hockey, and every time we come to the Lebda & Meech pillars, we always quote "Brett Lebda/Derek Meech is not and will NEVER be an NHL-quality player..." That and if Lidstrom doesn't get a goal soon, I will start offering animal sacrifices to his pillar at the Joe.

  4. Hehe, glad to have gotten my message about the two defensemen across.

    News on the sacrifice:
    He sacrificed a chicken fillet. I don't know how much belief I have though. On one hand he loves Nick for being from the same city as him, on the other hand he's a Pens fan