Saturday, January 23, 2010

What part of 60 minutes don't you understand you morons? - Now with hot chicks!

The only reason I have ever found to like the Kings

(We (or I) still want Ritola)

Remember two hours ago when it was 2-0 and everything was made of dreams and rainbows? Yeah... Don't you just hate how the Wings start off so well and then blow game after game after game. I am done with this. Change that, now!

The first period started weirdly with a lot of neutral zone play and few chances. Then Filppula took the puck out of the corner, gave it to Cleary, got it back and it seemed like everything moved in slo-mo from there. Flip dangled one guy while Miller tied up and another, outwaited Quick and roofed it. 1-0. Patience taken to a new level. Then Frolov high sticked Helm and the Wings got a PP. In the middle of that PP Meech blew a tire and the Wings got a break on one of those retarded calls where the far referee calls a penalty on something the near ref saw and didn't call. The Wings used no time on the 5-0n-3. Nick and Rafa switched sides, Rafa shot and it went off Bert's knee and in. The rest of the PP looked dangerous too. But after the PP the Kings had some great shifts and chances. The Wings came back after that, but while the refs were making up by ignoring a couple of Kings plays that could have been penalized they gave the Kings a cheap PP which was killed off. In the last minute the Kings had a great double chance, but Jimmah and Miller killed it off.

The second started with a play where good forechecking from the Kings and no support from the Wings led to a turnover from E. Howard couldn't hold the shot and Rafa failed to clear it. 2-1. The circus line came back with a crossbar off a huge Rafa slapper, but the Kings really took over the momentum. The Kings continued that and got some great chances while the Wings got notghing going. The Kings then got a PP from a Meech penalty. It looked dangerous, but didn't score. Meech got a breakaway out of the box and though he stubled a bit he got a good shot and was close to batting in his rebound. He then was strong on the puck alon in the zone. I wouldn't mind seeing him in a forward role. This seemed to wake the Wings up a bit and they looked better for the next few minutes. Though the Wings had some nice pressure in the last few minutes the period ended with the score 2-1.

The third started with more Kings pressure and Stuart saved a puck on the line that both the refs and video room managed to make the right call on. Baffling. Shocking! It didn't help though as a horrible defensive play from the entire 2nd line (which has gotten dominated a lot lately) led to a guy getting completely open and scoring. Then Meech got worked by Kopitar and Stuart failed completely to tie up his man. 3-2. Gameblowing complete. The Wings started to pressure a bit after that and got a PP. A couple of good chances, but no luck. The Wings pressured towards the end even though they played the last 2 mins shorthanded, but couldn't score. Fuck you Jobu.

I like the fact that she has grasped what most ice girls don't get: Smiling is hot. At least look like you enjoy being used as an object to please a largely male fanbase in a city that doesn't get hockey (and a guy in Norway with nothing better to do while waiting for the game to start).

- Leino wasn't great, but really had some hustle tonight. I liked it.
- Dean Lombardi = Masshole
- Oscar Moller's fan on the PP was hilarious.
- Flip must be the best English speaker in Finland, cause they're usually horrible and he's pretty good. Still I'd use 5 seconds to tell that he was Finnish just from his accent. Love Finns.
- Hilarious play where Jack Johnson back up into a Flip hit.
- Kronner back next week would be swell. I'll believe the Lilja news when I see him play.
- Stuart, E and Meech got completely outplayed by the Kopitar line all night. I am also really tired of seeing Flip, Cleary and Miller be horrible defensively.

Oh, look I found more of her. (I know, way to alienate the 50-75% of my readers who are female).

Keys to the game
- Can the Wings seem like they actually want to make the push here and play a full 60 minutes?
They came out nicely and battled, though they didn't have as dominant a first period as they had the last two games. But in the second they seemed to lose the punch and just relax too much once again. Annoying that they can't play a full 60 with full force. And they came out flat in the third too and blew the rest of the lead. Disgraceful. Horrible, just horrible.

- Eurotwin excellence?
They seemed to stear the play very well and created a lot of havoc in the Kings zone. Not as dominant as their best games, but they were pretty good.

- How amazing will Helm be?
Helm was fast and battled hard as always. Does he ever have a bad game? (No.)

- Can Howard upstage Quick once again?
Howard made some huge saves and Quick looked shaky, but came up when they needed him. Howard's rebounds are scary though. And one of them led to a goal. The second and third he had no chance on.

Just because I like the rythm of hot chick, hot chick, hot chick, really ugly dude, hot chick. And because I hate, but respect Ryan Smyth
Play of the game
Flip's goal was amazing. He slowed the whole thing down, showed poise and patience and dangled well. And the fin(n)ish was excellent.

Player of the game
Nicklas Lidström had a very silently good and dominant game. Beautiful.

The reason the Wings don't need ice girls. Also, while I hate the North American ways of doing national athems, I can somehow enjoy her version. I wonder why...


  1. If the Four Habs Fans haven't driven me away with talk of meth and pictures of strippers, a few ice girls won't bother me.

    After a game like that, we all take solace where we can find it. I'm going to rummage in my kitchen for cookies. :(

  2. Needs Prozac now...

    It's really sad when I'm driving home from work & listening to the 1st period play on the radio & hear they have a 2-0 lead and all I can think is, "Oh shit...not this again." Seriously, would it KILL YA to keep a lead? Maybe we should just start the game down a goal, because that seems to be when we play better. I knew as soon as Raffy hit the crossbar in the 2nd period that it was gonna be that kind of night.

    LOL @ hot chicks. I'm surprised you didn't insert like a pic of Fil in there or something with the group... I'm not a Filppula fan-girl, but he is very pretty... I'm glad we don't have ice chicks, personally, and not because I'm a girl & "OMG, that's so degrading!" But rather because I associate ice chicks with sucky teams that need something else for fans to focus on (Tampa Bay, Carolina).

    I have to disagree with you on your assessment of Z. I thought Pavs tried to move the puck around, but I thought Z was largely invisible the entire game. I know he had the most shots on goal, but they didn't seem to be quality shots. I don't know if he's still reeling from his shoulder injury (he looked like he got his legs back in the past few games.) I kept yelling at the TV whenever I did notice him, "You make way too much money to be playing like this!"

    Why the Wings not named Eaves or Helm (and occasionally Datsyuk) refuse to forecheck is beyond me... We are a patient team, and we just can't handle high-forechecking teams.

    I absolutely am disgusted with the fact that essentially I have to root for Chicago for the majority of their Western Conference match-ups so that we can stay in the playoff race. The hockey gods are spiting me for this, as they are down 3-0 to Vancouver...

    Looking at our D, and besides Stuart (when he does cover his man), the thought of Lidstrom potentially retiring at the end of the year terrifies me. PLEASE Hockey Gods let the news about Lilja be true. #55 better be on the ice next game.

  3. Of all the American sports movies I would expect a Norwegian Red Wings fan to quote, Major League did not exactly make the list... And to that I say: Eddie Shore?

  4. So I woke up this morning (4 1/2 hrs of sleep, yay!) still peeved at this loss. I seriously need to get out more.

    I hate Mickey Redmond when he gets telestrator-happy. I hate myself even more for believing that Lilja crap for a few hours after a frustrating day at work. I don't know what order their pics were in, but maybe he meant to circle Franzen. I hope so. I miss the Mule.

    Also, if it sounded like it, I don't mean to be singling out or hating on Z. Pretty much everyone had a sucky moment tonight...except maybe Lidstrom, but then again, he is the Perfect Human. I'm a HUGE fan of Z's, and not because I'm some sort of fan-girl. I think that just like everyone else, I REALLY wish he & Pavs hadn't picked this year to slump.

    Sorry for picking your blog once again to air my frustrations with our team out on. Sara can only take so much of my grumbling, and yes, I need to get out more...

  5. Baroque: Good. Cookies seem nice.

    Nurse: Yeah, it just was one of those games and you could feel it in the second.

    I thought Z was pretty good. He was strong on the puck, won battles defensively, but somehow he fell down a lot :S

    The forechecking thing is absolutely right. Good forechecks destroys the Wings, while they themselves forecheck way too passively.

    The defense is struggling. Nick played very well last night, Rafa seems to be going offensvely, but Stuart seems to be having a backclash after his good first half, E is making too many mistakes and Mebdeech... well.. they are Mebdeech. Getting Kronwall back would be huge and well if the Lilja rumours were true that would be huge too.

    On the topic of ice girls. Yeah I am happy the Wings don't have them. They are pretty useless and with a few exceptions (like the one above) they typically look rather bland. What I wonder is: What makes a girl become an ice girl or an arena host (like the ones in Toronto). What kind of career is that a stepping stone for? The girl above apparently wants to do sports broadcasting, but I can't see how being an ice girl gets you closer to that.

    Sara: While I love baseball I have never seen Major League. I guess I have to see it now that I have quoted it...

  6. Some girls really have no talent other than their looks. They have gotten by on a cute smile and later on cleavage for as long as they can remember, and maybe can't picture any other opportunities. Maybe some of them are interested in modeling or something as a career and think that being ogled in public is the way to get that kind of an opening. Maybe they are just regular girls who want to pick up a little extra money (do they get paid? I assume so, ushers and greeters are paid at stores) and this seems a little more interesting than working part time at the mall. Maybe some of them even like hockey and this is a way to see more games than they would otherwise.

    When a team goes for the eye candy I think it makes the implicit argument that the fans need something appealing to look at because they can't just discuss the game among themselves during a brief stoppage but need eye candy and ear-splitting music to drown out any thoughts they might have.

  7. Yeah, that's kinda sad but true. I guess the ice girls have some calendar shoots and stuff so they might get into modeling from that. And well, it's a job as good as any menial crap job (I should know I work at a checkout of an home improvement store), I just fail to see the career opportunities in those jobs. So I'll just go ahead an assume that these girls are the cheerleaders who are done with school and wanna continue to be hot at sporting events. Your last point about being a hockey fan is great though. If I had the chance to be an "ice guy" and get to see all the games for free I'd actually take it without even thinking.

    Yes, having those kinds of entertainment during stoppages is a way to demean (sp?) the fans. We don't need that. Especially when they're not even good looking (go see the Marlies for examples). But the worst is the ones with some female "hostess" who screams and tries to fire up the audience. Both the Leafs and Marlies have those and it just felt awful.

    Still, hey, if they're in places I am not and they lead to pictures like those above, well, I'm okay with it. I hope she achieves her dream of being a sportscaster. Wouldn't mind seeing her interviewing the players. Or in the role (that I created in an earlier post about Gary Bettman) as Murph's equally drunk, naked sidekick

  8. Yes, you need to watch Major League- maybe even the sequel too. And if you haven't seen it yet, you NEED to watch Slap Shot. In fact, I think I'm gonna do that right now.
    Also, I'm with you guys on the subject of ice chicks. The high school hockey kids we have cleaning up our ice are so much more appropriate for Hockeytown. They might play Lady Gaga way too much during games, but at least they understand we respect the game in Detroit

  9. I might be Norwegian, but I'm not culturally ignorant (or Baroque), so I have seen Slapshot.

  10. It would be a crime against hockey if you hadn't :)

  11. Yeah. I agree. And again, not a knock on Baroque (who hasn't), because she's well, special, writes better than any of us bloggers and has had some epic quotes on A2Y ("...sandpaper dildo...", "nobody can see my tits on the internet"). But yeah, Slapshot is frickin awesome.

  12. Great, now I get "you're a hockey fan but you've NEVER seen Slapshot? I don't believe it!" from other freaking CONTINENTS!

    I have seen "Miracle" and "Mystery, Alaska" - doesn't that count for anything?

    (And I say "sucks the chrome off a trailer hitch" more often than "sandpaper dildo.") :D

  13. Hehehe... the internationalization of teh internetz...

    both freat movies. Counts in my book...

    But sandpaper dildo is the best phrase ever

  14. I hate to admit it, but I just saw it two years ago... (and only got around to seeing the Godfather trilogy at the end of last year, I could never accuse anyone of being culturally ignorant considering how far behind I am) but I'm pretty sure those sayings buy you a few more years to watch Slapshot before anyone can say anything about it, Baroque

  15. Please, the Godfather is just two movies. The third doesn't exist (at least not in my head)

  16. True, and I actually haven't wasted my time on the third one yet, just felt I should title it that way...

  17. I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy the Ice girls for the Kings/Ducks/Reign(ECHL Kings affiliate here in 0ntario, California). It gives me something to ogle during TV timeouts and halftime shows when I go to local games.

  18. Hehe, I don't think anyone was implying that they're not nice to look at :P