Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The 2010 National Suckfest Championships

Magdalena Neuner, Germany, won gold.

I gave the Norwegia squad a chance for a redemption day. These were the events and results:
- Curling. Lost to Canada in overtime. Decent game. USA later tonight.
- Super combination alpine skiing. Postponed.
- Snowboardcross: Helene Olafsen dominated her semi final, but fell away from a medal in the final. 4th place. M. Ricker from Canada won in front of D. Anthonoiz from France and Olivia Nobs from Switzerland.
- In the women's biathlon pursuit we just weren't good enough. Magdalena Neuner from Germany (started second) won in blowout style. Anastazia Kuzmina (Slovakia, 1st)took the silver and Marie Laure Brunet (France, 6th) the bronze. Tora Berger (Norge, 33rd) took the 5th and Ann Kristin Flatland (Norway, 10th) the eight. Good race by Berger, but not good enough.
- In the men's biathlon pursuit both Ole Einar Bjørndalen (17th) and Emil Hegle Svendsen (2nd) had the chance at the last shooting, but they both lost their nerves and placed 7th and 8th respectively. Suckfest, not good enough. To make things worse, Björn Ferry from Sweden (8th) won in front of Cristoph Sumann (austria, 12th) and Vincent Jay (France, 1st). Fuck you Jobu.
- The hockey team has yet to play.

Shit day. Fucking horrendous. I quit being Norwegian. I am ashamed, shocked and appaled at the lack of clutch. This shit used to be our thing. Now we suck at it. Fuck you Olympic team! Fuck you!

Not only does she do biathlon like Norwegians used to (shoot unsteadily, but ski fast) and compete like Norwegians used to (win), but she's damn hot as well. I want!

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