Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Young Norwegians sues Olympic teams and state

In a shocking press release today, two young Norwegian bloggers named "Andy" and "Cake" sued the Norwegian Olympic team for treason. They also sued the state of Norway for treason against them. "As a Norwegian it is your birthright to expect 10-12 golds per winter Olympic and so far we have had none," one of them said. "The effort so far in these Olympics have been shameful and we feel that the team has betrayed us and the state of Norway. So we are suing them for treason and also for future loss of earnings because the time we spent watching in vain could have been spent studying. We also feel that the state of Norway has a responsibility to create athletes good enough to win. We have failed, so we hereby sue the state." The boys are also pushing criminal charges for this. The case was opened after the Norwegian male biathlonists decided to stink up the arena at the Olympic pursuit with a 7th place as their best effort. And a swede won.

The plaintiff's attorney F. Uck Sweden said this earlier tonight: "The boys have a good case. We are also looking at pressing charges for crimes against humanity for their unwillingness to show the world their amazing skills at this grand stage. We are looking for millions in the case and hope to have everyone involved with the Olympic teams locked away for several years."

The boys, when asked by AP, stated that they would not settle on this case. "We want to see them sentenced and let them feel the humiliation," said one of them.

The Olympic squad has expressed that they are baffled at this case and they have hired notorious defense lawyer Vidkun Quisling, a treason expert, as their attorney.


  1. You should inform these young men to add defamation of character to the list of charges. What will the world think of Norway if we allow this to continue?

  2. true. Very good question.

    BTW, 10 points to the person who knows who Vidkun Quisling really was.

  3. Do I still get the points if I cheat and look it up online?

  4. Okay then, but as his last name has really become a phrase, people should know.

  5. well, before you google him, let me offer you two hints:
    1. As I hinted to, he had the dubious honour of getting an expression named after him in most big languages including English. If you can figure out what a quisling is, then you will understand a lot.
    2. Vidkun Quisling was the last man who recieved the death penalty in Norway. He got it for, well, quislingish crimes. Many got convicted for the same type of crime at the same time, but he was the only one sentenced to death.

    If you can figure out what he was excecuted for and when it happened (I can accept 1-2 years margin of error) I will give you 7 of the points. You'll get the last three if you can figure out why he got excecuted while the others got away with jail ie. what his role was.

  6. Good thing I like looking things up since, sadly, my school never taught me a quisling is a traitor- we kinda stuck with Benedict Arnold. I gotta say, firing squad is an intense way to go...
    So, for 7 points, high treason charges were for his coup d'état in 1940 when Germany invaded Norway after the Norwegians didn't just roll over... Lacking proper materials and time this morning, I'm just gonna try for the seven. Interesting choice for a defense attorney :)

  7. hehe.. yeah. He basically became the leader of Norway under the nazis