Due to popular demand (2 people, yeah I have a HUGE readership (most of whom come off google after clicking pictures I posted of biathletes during the Olympics)) the second installment of this series comes sooner than I planned.
*WARNING: This post is mean, childish and rude. Chris Osgood and his wife should both leave the site NOW*
7:30 Chris wakes up. He wonders where he is. He then realizes that he has slept on the couch. Again.
7:35 Chris tries to take a shower, but his wife has decided that Jimmah gets to use the bathroom first.
7:36 Chris yells at his wife for ten minutes. He ends with calling her a poo-poo head.
7:50 Chris finally gets into the bathroom. He looks in the mirror. Nope. Still no sign of facial hair.
8:05 Chris wakes his kids.
8:20 Breakfast. Jimmah gets the best piece of bacon and Chris asks his son to throw him an apple. He mysteriously fails to catch it and it ends up passing through his legs.
8:45 Chris leaves. Due to Chris's recent bad driving, Jimmah is in the drivers seat.
9:00 They stop for coffee.
9:30 They arrive at JLA.
9:45 The lineup for tomorrow's game is announced. Chris is not selected to start.
10:30 Ice practice begins. Chris savours the ice time, as he only gets any in practice.
10:59 Chris finally makes a save.
12:00 Chris yells at Mike Babcock for 20 minutes. He finally runs out, crying and shouting "doo-doo-pants, I hate you! I hate you!"
12:30 Spends excactly 12 seconds whining to Tick Tock before getting the door slammed in his face.
12:35 Calls Ty Conklin and call him bad names.
12:40 Calls Mike Vernon for consolation.
13:00 Physical training.
15:00 Online video meeting in the "relegated to backup" support group. Chris cries for twenty minutes. Then Andrew Raycroft tells about his recent struggle. Everyone cheers for Vesa Toskala's recent success.
16:30 Chris comes home. Plays Play Station against Jimmah and loses badly.
17:30 Ozzie goes on a beer run. The cashier doesn't believe that he's 21, says he looks younger. And when Chris says "don't you know me? I'm Chris fucking Osgood", the guy just laughs and says "no way! That dude must be at least 50 now and you're just a kid."
18:00 Jimmah gets the beer instead
19:30 Family dinner
21:00 The Osgood family watches TV. Jimmah gets to have the remote since Chris has made some bad channel choices lately.
22:30 They go to bed. Chris gets denied entry to the bedroom. Due to recent bad performances his wife will go with Jimmah tonight. "Again, fucking fuck that kid," mutters Ozzie. "I will," says his wife.
23:00 Chris falls asleep on the couch, crying.
5 months ago