Sunday, March 21, 2010

A day in the life of Mike Babcock

Continuing the series that started a long time ago with the end of this post.

7:00 Mike wake up and feels happy. He softly kisses his wife and wakes her up.
7:25 Mike wakes the kids by singing the theme from Barney.
7:30 Mike has made a three course breakfast for his family. It is delicious.
7:50 Mike helps the youngest kid with his homework.
8:15 Mike kisses his family good bye and asks them to have a glorious day.
8:20 Mike is alone and doesn't like the darkness of the house. He sings some Tina Turner to keep the scary thoughts away.
8:30 Mike takes a shower
8:35 Shower finnished. Mike looks into the mirror and starts to think about all the things that provoke him.
8:50 Not there yet
9:15 Not there yet
9:30 Mike feels like he is finally there. He goes out to the street and looks at a kid. The kid screams and runs for its life. Finally there, the death stare is on for today.
9:45 Mike leaves for work.
10:04 Mike stops at Starbucks. He walks in and stares at the employee until she gives him his usual.
10:10 The coffee was too sweet. Mike screams at her for a few minutes.
10:20 Mike gets stopped for speeding. He unleashes a verbal salvo at the officer and it ends with the officer booking himself for disturbance of the peace.
10:30 Mike arrives at JLA. All the players get angst attacks.
12:00 Practice.
13:30 Meeting with Chris Osgood trying to explain why Ozzie won't play tomorrow either.
13:55 The meeting ends with Ozzie running out, crying like a baby.
14:00 Mike calls Kerry Fraser and screams to him for a few minutes.
14:15 Mike calls Gary Bettman. Gary pees his pants.
14:30 Mike and Kenny discuss the lineup.
15:00 Mike leaves the JLA.
15:20 Mike walks into a restaurant. Everyone else leaves. Mike gets a three course meal just by grunting and pointing at the menu.
16:00 Some guy cut Mike off on the way home. Mike cuts him off again and they stop on the side of the road. The guy starts yelling, but Mike just looks at him until he explodes.
16:15 Mike sees some teens smoking. He gives them a long and angry speech about the dangers of smoking. Sadly they get freaked out and runs away.
16:30 Mike tries to give some advice to some kids playing street hockey. They don't understand a word of his weird Canadian accent.
17:00 Mike comes home. He gets huge hugs from his kids.
18:30 Mike's wife come home. Mike has a large meal ready for her and the kids. It is fantastic.
19:30 The babysitter arrives. Mike spends 15 minutes saying good bye to his kids.
20:30 Mike and his wife watches the Opera. Mike thinks it is glorious.
22:30 They come home. Mike calls his mom and talks to her for an hour.
00:00 Mike and his wife goes to bed. Bet you want to hear more about that, but this is a hockey blog, not a porn blog.


  1. You need to continue this series, Andy. I think my favorite is:
    13:30 Meeting with Chris Osgood trying to explain why Ozzie won't play tomorrow either.
    Babcock was such a sweet guy when NurseNitz and I met him, so I'm pretty sure you're dead on with his day

  2. hehe... I have a couple of ideas for more, but a couple of them are reaaally mean

  3. that kinda makes me want to read them even more...

  4. LOL! I so agree with Sara! I LOL'd really hard at the segment where he prepares his "Death Stare" for the day & of course, talking to Ozzie & yelling at Kerry Fraser. Perhaps Babbles also argued with him why HIS hair was better than Fraser's?? That guy was always such an ass about his hair until they finally made him wear a helmet.

    "A Day in the Life" (even with just 2 submissions) is fast becoming one of my favorite segments. PLEASE do either Bert or Lebda... I'm hoping for mentions of Bert eating kittens or Lilja beating the suck out of Lebda before each game...

    And for the record, outside his "hockey coach" persona, Mike Babcock is one of the nicest, down-to-earth people I have ever met. If you didn't know who he was, you would never guess that he was in charge of one of the best sports teams in recent history. It was kind of strange to hear "Babcockian speech" coming from a guy wearing a long winter coat who drove a pick-up truck. He's so involved with charities & mentoring & I think he would really get a kick out of H2H & how successful it's been.

  5. hehe... an evil one is coming soon then,..

    I'm sure Mike is a nice guy and that he occationally smiles without irony, but never on TV :D