Friday, March 5, 2010

Limerick night at the Joe

Warning: This post might contain poetry and attempts at limericks that just barely falls short of being limericks. Discretion is adviced.

The first period started off with some nice Wings chances, but after just two minutes Bertuzzi took a stupid tripping penalty. The kill however, was awesome. After that the game floated back and forth with few chances, until Pasha stole the puck at the side of the net, dangled the goalie into outer space, took a poop, whistled three bars of Hang down your head Tom Dooley and scored. Soon after that the Preds had a post after a weak play by Flip in his own zone, but the Wings kept some pressure and was rewarded with a PP. On that PP, Pasha dangled so much everyone stopped to clap at his performance, giving him just enough time to write his memoirs and dish the puck to Lids. Nick got his 800th assist when he found Homer, who scored the easiest goal in NHL history (weirly enough, only Homer's 25th easiest goal). The Wings had another flurry of chances late in the period, but to no avail.

Spontaneous intermission poetry:
I once knew a player called Pasha
A dangler and a good flasha
The goalie was stunned
In his interviews punned
And he scored like his countryman Sasha

Meh, no good rhymes for any of his names or nicknames.. how about:
No one can play like our friend Nick
His feel for the game is just plain sick
He looks to the left
And for Homer it's theft
Leaves the goalie alone to suck dick.

Enough limericks. On to the second.

The Wings started the second on top speed. They didn't score on an early PP, but kept it up and after a few minutes Helm worked hard, took a shot and scored. The Preds took over after that. Then they got a PP. After seeing Howard fend off a barrage, Helm got a one-on-one with Suter, shot, stole the rebound and scored. The Preds continued to pressure after that, and was rewarded when Rafa first made a turnover, then peed his pants on the blueline. Nice passing. 4-1. The Wings had a few chances, but mostly just defended well for the rest of the period.

More limericks:
There once was a fella named Darren
With speed like an F1 McLaren
When he shot and he scored
Well the crowd, yes they roared
and the goalie, his heart was left barren.

We once had a matey called Danger
Was born far away in a manger
And his speed was insane
Like Usain on cocaine
And to shorthanded goals was no stranger.

The Wings started the third sloppily and Jimmah had to come up huge on a breakaway. Sadly, bad defense by Lils and Lebda allowed Ward to make it 4-2 a bit later. Nashville then got 2 PPs. They were killed off beautifully. And then the Wings got a PP. They didn't score, but got momentum for some more pressure. In the last minute the Preds pulled their goalie and with 3 seconds left, Hank settled it. 5-2

There once was this fella from Sweden
And his goals shared the beauty of (LeAnne) Tweeden
Took the puck to the net
Easy goal, win they get
A good night of sleep awaits me then

Already posted this on Twitter, and it's unrelated, but I will post it again for luck:
There once was a dickface named Gary,
Who said "Sidney, will you me marry?"
But Sidney said "no,
to Pierre I will go,
and together, the nation we'll carry"

- I love seeing Dangle dangle like only dangle does.
- Weber got hurt. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.
- I hereby nickname Helm "Usain".
- Wow, Bert is really sucking these days.

Keys to the game
- Can Howard come back and show us why Babs gave him the chance?
In the first he was safe, but didn't have to do much. In the second he was great. No fault on the goal. Not on the second either. Good game.

- Pasha's line and Z's line has had one good game each since the Olympics. Which line will step up tonight?
Pavel's line was huge. The vettes were great too.

- Can we please have sixty consistently good minutes?
The first 30 were amazing. For the next ten they were more defensive, but did it well. In the third they seemed a bit out of it at times, but they pulled through.

Play of the game
The first goal. Dangle time!

Player of the game
Darren "Danger" "Usain" Helm


  1. "Spontaneous intermission poetry" ...hahahaha

  2. Well, sometimes Pasha is just inspiring.

  3. You worry me, Andy - I'm thinking that your student trip caused you to lose your mind. ;)

    (I wouldn't be TOO concerned, though - I lost my mind years ago and haven't missed it as much as I thought I would!)

  4. haha. I thought something along the same lines as well last night when I wrote this. I think my brain functions badly while sober :P

  5. Your limericks popped into my head today at work for some reason. Part of it was kinda awkward, since I have a boss named Gary... and he was there.

  6. Let me guess that this Gary is a moron as well?

  7. He doesn't really speak to me unless something is wrong, otherwise he just smiles moronically and keeps walking when you say anything to him... Don't think he's interested in Sidney though, so it doesn't all fit :)

  8. Well, if he only speaks when something is wrong, then Gary is definitely NOT Gary Bettman, who we all know only appears to talk about happy stuff.