Monday, April 12, 2010

Oh the Dogs are playing high

The Phoenix blog Five For Howling posted this absolutely disgusting guide to keeping Wings fans out of their barn in the playoffs. Among the nuggets were these:

Rather it means we have to deal with their annoying, know-it-all, douchebag fans thinking they can come into OUR HOUSE and thinking they can run things. To that end i'm asking for you to step it up for the playoffs and do the following things.

If you see anyone with an octopus report them to security immediately. Or punch them in the damn face, take the octopus and throw it in the trash. Then throw said fan into the trash.

# This is our white out. You know some jerkstore is going to show up in their solid red Wings jersey to f it up. Bring white paint. Do what comes naturally.
# See if you can find Wings merchandise at a discount so that you have a way to light your grills during tailgating. Red Wing flags? Burn em. Red Wings jerseys? Burn 'em. Red Wings cars? Burn 'em. Red Wings lighters? Burn 'em.
# Buy rattlesnakes. Why? New Promotion: Anyone with an octopus automatically receives a rattlesnake in their car after the game.
# You'll need to bring one of those Tide Stain remover pens to get the Red Wing fan blood out of your nice white jersey.

Yay! Way to show class Phoenix fans. I get that you are kinda bitter going through all the struggles that come with being the future Hamilton/Winnipeg/Seattle/Kansas City/Quebec Bulldogs/Jets/Metropolitans/Chiefs/Nordiques and that you are determined to one up us all now that you have minor success. But still, shut the fuck up, it in your seat, behave and come back to me when you have the followng:
- A playoff tradition
- Some cups
- A shot at winning the whole thing
- People in attendance
- A team next year

And believe me, the Wingnuts will be loud! So.. Serven, Jess, Sullyosis and everyone else going. Show them how one does it in a real hockey city! Go Wings!

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