Saturday, April 10, 2010

Sexual Innuendo Night at the Joe

..or well, the Nationwide Arena. Warning, this is the most juvenile recap ever. The childishness made me only half follow the game.

The first was really weird. A lot of whistles. The Wings dominated the play and had a lot of great chances and some real nice plays, including a solo rush by Miller that sadly ended in him being tripped by Clitsome. But all the chances ended in a bad pass, a missed puck, a shot right outside or a great save by Mason. And the BJs were fast and dangerous on the counter attack. The Wings got two PPs and we almost thought they scored on one of those. But we didn't. Towards the end the BJs got a PP after Rafa got badly outplayed. They didn't score on the part of it that was in the first.

The second started with a BJ PP. It was killed, but the teams traded chances for the first half of the period. Both had good chances, both were really sloppy, both got saved by luck and good goalies. Then the BJs got two PPs in a row. They were killed, but had a lot of dangerous stuff. On the first Clitsome hit the post. On the second, Umberger had a glorious breakaway but hit the post. After that both had good chances again, but no goals.

Dirty tweets
I absolutely was in a very, very juvenile mood tonight and tortured by tweeps with dirty tweets. Some were great, some obvious and some pointless. For those who missed them. I present them all here:
- when you get the BJs, you also have to work the Clitsome
- Filppula can't finish - Bjs... yeah, gonna listen for sexual puns all night
- the Wings go for rebounds with the BJs
- BJ-penalty for hooking
- Red Wings denied entry into the BJ-zone :P
- Nash is playing hard for the BJs
- wouldn't it be great if the BJs got a goal disallowed for intent to blow?
- If you get traded to Columbus, does it become a forced BJ? And isn't that illegal?
- you mentioned a BJ-feed earlier. Can we have that too or does one need to be good looking to get it?
- those are som dirty BJs!
- What a juicy BJ hit!
-Also, those are some quick BJs
- Just glad they all are using protection - BJs
- that's a sloppy BJ!
- A stick snapped during a BJ chance. OUCH!
- The BJs were much better last year than they are this year
- well, BJs aren't really scoring are they?
- too many men is called when a BJ comes on the ice too early
- 3rd coming up: Bring on the BJs
- Don't believe this one hasn't been used yet: Last week the Wings almost blew it with the BJs
- Franzen couldn't get in
- Mason got his loong stick out there for the BJs
- Datsyuk in the middle of a BJ sandwich
- Wings putting a barrage of shots on the BJs
- Wings had a sloppy second with the BJs
- Wings in a 4-on-4 situation with BJs
- game over. Time for BJs in the shower. Wet, sweaty BJs

Luckily a few people joined me with these nuggets:

- The Red Wings are responding to the BJs by driving hard to the slot. Hopefully they score.
- If the BJs start getting rough, you can bet one of the Wings will retaliate by spearing Clitmore.
- The BJs have regained some of their intensity thanks to Clitsome's sustained pressure in the offensive zone
- It's not the quantity that matters - it's the quality.
- Hopefully if the BJs can't get the job done in 60 minutes, an extra 5 won't help.
- I honestly thought Bertuzzi would end this whole BJ mess by going for the 5-hole. Either way, he scored.

- BJ Manager coming up - I do not want that job
- 10th anniversary of the BJ?
- "Young BJ group coming this fall" FTW
- BJ check card and banking, man it's gotten easier...
- dude with the BJ card, I'm pretty sure we're in
- Can we get some BJ highlights and analysis during the break?
- Man they don't give BJ prize packs at the Joe
- Bertuzzi denied by a BJ - hey that's a great reason I suppose
- We just gained the BJ zone
- you had me at juicy BJ
- Val don't leave, stay with the BJ
- Cleary interrupted the BJ activity
- This is a grinding BJ effort
- They have BJ box operators? I'm getting confused, sounds complicated
- BJ cameramen I completely understand
- Now antibiotics are being advertised on the BJ channel - ew, Ohio
- BJ + Cialis + redwings = one hell of a night (but call your dr for an erection lasting more than 4 hours)
- Coach wants the BJ to get in the face of the opposition
- BJ need extra time to finish!
- Russell most improved BJ!
- Detroit entries have been perfect all night
- BJ shoot out - finally
- Tuzz with the BJ blast - ahhhh relief
- If I like #redwings better than BJ, does that make me a pervert?

- The BJs are playing with some teeth! Everyone should fear a BJ with teeth! #RedWings #BlueJackets
- Despite BJ effort, they were unable to get it up. Get up in score I mean.
- "Clitsome rattles one off the iron" ::giggles::
- Nash is a premium BJ. Uses his soft hands to get the big shot off.

- These BJs are boring me.
- Have the BJs always been this boring? First they were just bad, then they were Hitchcocked, now they are bad again. Dullsville. :(
- That's because the BJs aren't performing all that well.

- surprisingly also omitted: the toothless bJ

- A BJ shoot out? All I have to say is goggles.

- Wings have survived an onslaught of BJ's and still haven't blown it.

- Bertuzzi finished off the BJs, and somewhere @mpetrella weeps.
- And the BJs fans shouldn't feel too bad about a great game. You win some, you #Clitsome.

- And that's two BJ's finished for the night..
- Give credit, crafty pokecheck, way to handle the stick...

- isn't whipping the long stick out illegal in public
- a 4some with bjs?
- Radio now working but aparently clitsome for bjs has a quick release
- I have no idea who wings bjs game is on radio but paulson found howards 5hole

- Thanks BJs, for the uncomfort. moment when I had 2 explain my giggling 2 Mom upon hearing that Clitsome was having trouble 'keeping it in'.
- Taking longer than expected for the #RedWings to get their happy ending from the BJs. Heading to OT. #ThisWontGetOld
- No one likes a lazy BJ

- I'm kind of disappointed in the lack of BJ shots...
- Anyone else think all the hitting of goalposts is a metaphor for something else?
- Hahaha, the BJ shot wide of the net...

- Man, overtime is the worst part of any BJ experience...
- Seriously after 60+ minutes of a BJ "game" your jaw should be about to fall off...

- Tuzzi finished the Bjs that's perfect.

- Bertuzzi runs into Clitsome & loses his stick.
- 5 mins of BJ OT is usually not enough time to score.

- Yeah, but ConkBlock is no longer with the Wings...

Thanks guys! I have never had more fun watching a game!

3 things that worked
- Good dominance at times.
- Jimmah
- Got Nash pissed

3 things that didn't work
- Gave up too many good counter-attacks.
- Sloppy in the second
- Had to use the SO

Play of the game
Bert's SO winner

Player of the game
Howard. Shutout baby!


  1. rofl. good collection of posts there

  2. thanks. Someone had to gather them all...

  3. This makes me so proud :)

    Dear Red Wings:

    In case you didn't know, your fans are made of Win and Awesome.