Thursday, June 10, 2010

The FightNight Awards

EDIT 2: If you are not following @RedWingsFeed on Twitter you suck at life. It links to this and every other blog out there.

The season is over and it is time to hand out some awards here. Some are serious, some are less serious. Some are for the Wings, some are league wide. Let's go!

EDIT: Feel free to tell me everything I got wrong and who should really win and why in the comment section!

Let's start with Wings only awards:

The first one is already published, but I will have it again here:
Fight Night's player of the year
For the person selected Player of the game the most times at this blog
10. Ozzie, Abby, Miller, Malts, Stuart - 1 each
9. Cleary - 2
7. Bert and Eaves - 4 each
6. Mule - 5
5. Nick - 6
4. Hank - 8
3. Helm - 9
2. Jimmah - 12
1. Pasha - 13

Play of the game award
To the player involved in the play of the game the most times
15. Miller, May, Jwil, E - 1 each
11. Eaves, Helm, Flip, Kronner - 2 each
10. Jimmah - 3
9. Homer - 4
8. Stuart - 5
5. Rafalski, Cleary, Mule - 6 each
4. Z - 7
3. Nick - 8
2. Bert - 9
1. Pasha - 19

The Terry Sawchuck Memorial Trophy
Given to the best goalie of the year
Jimmy Howard. No question here.

The Nicklas Lidström Award
Given to the defenseman of the year
Nicklas Lidström. He was among the best in the league, as always. Stuart was the only serious competitor for this.

The Gordie Howe Trophy
Given to the forward of the year
Even though he didn't have the season we expected, Pavel Datsyuk was still our best forward.

The Darren McCarty Trophy
Given to the player with the most meaningful fights
Brad May did by my count have 1 meaningful fight (out of 10, his 2nd against Boll). So Patrick Eaves wins with his two.

The Chicken Shit Plaque
Given to the pussy of the year
Brad May for knowing he should have taken on Steve Ott, but not daring to.

The Frank Zappa Mad Genious Award
Handed out anually to Pavel Datsyuk
Pavel Datsyuk

The Youngling Trophy
Awarded to the rookie of the year
Jimmy Howard. No contest.

Glad to see you go Award
To the guy we want to leave
Jason Williams

L'Oreal Award
To the player who seems to use the most time on his hair
Valtteri Filppula. Z and Kronner as runners up.

The Head and Shoulders trophy
To the guy who seems to not give a fuck about his hair
Brad Stuart. Seriously. The guy needs to do something. He looks terrible.

The Angus 3rd pounder Trophy
To the guy who seems like he eats at McDonalds every day
Jimmy Howard

Over to the league wide awards. Let's start with the real ones:
Hart: Henrik Sedin
Norris: Duncan Keith
Selke: Pavel Datsyuk
Lady Byng: Pavel Datysuk
Vezina: Ryan Miller
Calder: Jimmy Howard
Messier: Nicklas Lidström
Adams: Dave Tippett.

And some of my own:

The Disciple Award
To the team that has the most reason to listen to Slayer's Disciple and scream "God hates us all" along with the chorus
Edmonton Oilers, closely followed by the Wings.

The ...And Justice for All Trophy
To the league's worst referee
Good field this year. The leprechaun really likes Mike Leggo for this and Brad Watson and Dan O'Halloran also stand strong, but in the end it goes to Denis LaRue.

The Paris Hilton's virginity memorial trophy
To the biggest whore in the league
Marian Hossa. Enough said.

The Master of Puppets award
To the best manipulator in hockey
Gary Bettman. His manipulative tehcniques in interviews sicken me.

The Detroit Sucks Award
Given annually to the league's worst bandwagoning fanbase
The Chicago Blackhawks fans. FUCK YOU!

The Know your enemy award
Annually given to the team we hate the most, aka the Chicago Blackhawks
Chicago Blackhawks

The Rogaine Trophy
Given to the player with the ugliest bald spot
Ryan Getzlaf

The Baby Born Award
To the league's most immature brat
Cindy Rosby barely beats out Pat Kane

The Claude Lemieux's dignity memorial Trophy
To the league's biggest cheapshot artist
Matt Cooke

The Mike Ricci Diploma
To the league's ugliest player
Rob Blake

The Bernstein Family 1-800-CALL SAM Award
To the most mentally incapacitated looking player
Tyler Kennedy

The Why does it hurt when I pee? Award
Given to the player we think contracted the most STDs this season
Aaron Vo, just kidding. Sean Avery of course.

4 comments:

  1. I thought you were going somewhere else with the Baby award. I was gonna nominate Olli Jokinen

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  2. Haha Olli Jokinen would be a nice choice, but I went for the person who is most likely to play with Baby Born dolls

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  3. Rob Blake is pretty damn ugly, but I think Ovi and Brent Sopel should be up there too.

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  4. Yeah, they are fugly too, but Blake's nose wins

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