Welcome to 25:19, a feature that will run every Monday for 19 (duh!) weeks. Every week I will make 5 (Nick) lists, with 5 (number of rings Nick will retire with) points on each list. Thus having 25 (DMac) points in total every week. The lists will be random hockey stuff, some rankings, other in random order. Some will be opinions, others humour. I will leave it to you judge what is what. Hopefully you will find it entertaining and/or provoking enough to leave your ideas on things I missed and what I did wrong in the comments.
1. Five rule changes I wanna see
- Goaltender interference: Needs to either be a good goal or a penalty. And it should be a much higher bar than now for it being ruled goalie interference
- Delay of game: Pucks sent over the glass has no buisness deciding games
- The instigator penalty needs to be removed. The only fights it hinders are the good and reasonable ones.
- The trapezoid needs to go away.
- Forwards (like Homer) should be allowed to do to defensemen what defensemen are allowed to do to them.
2. Five people Chicago can sign to fill up their roster
- Snookie. We already know she and Toews have chemistry. And she is just dumb enough.
- Lindsay Lohan. Her and Kaner would be perfect together, seeing as they are both brats who think they are above the law.
- Chris Chelios. He'd probably take minimum wage to be able to stay in the NHL. And he has experience from the team that won the Hawk first cup in 1934.
- Mike Sillinger would probably be willing to do a cheap comeback just to add another team to his list.
- Wade Redden. He would be the yearly fuck up contract.
3. Five ugly as fuck hockey players
- Mike Ricci http://www.uglymales.com/wc/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/mike_ricci.jpg
- Rob Blake http://top2bottom.net/Rob%20Blake+1.jpg
- Ryan Smyth http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/writers/darren_eliot/07/30/lowe.letter/tx.smyth2.jpg
- Tyler Kennedy http://cdn.nhl.com/penguins/v2/photos/mugs/8471311.jpg
- Scott Hartnell http://threeriversphilosophizer.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/scott_hartnell.jpg
4. Five essential DMac moments
- He beats Claude Lemieux to the ground during the Fight Night
- He scores the 1997 cup winning goal on one of the leagues all time great plays
- He scores a hat trick against the Avs in 2002.
- He completes his recovery from alcoholism and substance abuse by lifting the cup for the fourth time in 2008.
- He gets called out as a homer during a Versus telecast in 2010 and replies: "I have four reasons to be a homer".
5. Five ways to decide a game that would more fair and graceful than the shootout
- Coin toss
- Gary Bettman decides the winner, out of "league interests"
- Line brawl. Line 1 vs 1, 2 vs 2, 3 vs 3, 4 vs 4 and goalies vs. goalies. Last man standing. The team that wins the most matchups win.
- Television poll after the game.
- The captain and assistant captains of the teams engage in a game of Cluedo for the victory at center ice.
Click the picture to see the whole thing:
The girls should probably ignore the anti-candy in the background.
5 months ago