1. Five rule changes I wanna see
- Goaltender interference: Needs to either be a good goal or a penalty. And it should be a much higher bar than now for it being ruled goalie interference
- Delay of game: Pucks sent over the glass has no buisness deciding games
- The instigator penalty needs to be removed. The only fights it hinders are the good and reasonable ones.
- The trapezoid needs to go away.
- Forwards (like Homer) should be allowed to do to defensemen what defensemen are allowed to do to them.
2. Five people Chicago can sign to fill up their roster
- Snookie. We already know she and Toews have chemistry. And she is just dumb enough.
- Lindsay Lohan. Her and Kaner would be perfect together, seeing as they are both brats who think they are above the law.
- Chris Chelios. He'd probably take minimum wage to be able to stay in the NHL. And he has experience from the team that won the Hawk first cup in 1934.
- Mike Sillinger would probably be willing to do a cheap comeback just to add another team to his list.
- Wade Redden. He would be the yearly fuck up contract.
3. Five ugly as fuck hockey players
- Mike Ricci http://www.uglymales.com/wc/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/mike_ricci.jpg
- Rob Blake http://top2bottom.net/Rob%20Blake+1.jpg
- Ryan Smyth http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/writers/darren_eliot/07/30/lowe.letter/tx.smyth2.jpg
- Tyler Kennedy http://cdn.nhl.com/penguins/v2/photos/mugs/8471311.jpg
- Scott Hartnell http://threeriversphilosophizer.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/scott_hartnell.jpg
4. Five essential DMac moments
- He beats Claude Lemieux to the ground during the Fight Night
- He scores the 1997 cup winning goal on one of the leagues all time great plays
- He scores a hat trick against the Avs in 2002.
- He completes his recovery from alcoholism and substance abuse by lifting the cup for the fourth time in 2008.
- He gets called out as a homer during a Versus telecast in 2010 and replies: "I have four reasons to be a homer".
5. Five ways to decide a game that would more fair and graceful than the shootout
- Coin toss
- Gary Bettman decides the winner, out of "league interests"
- Line brawl. Line 1 vs 1, 2 vs 2, 3 vs 3, 4 vs 4 and goalies vs. goalies. Last man standing. The team that wins the most matchups win.
- Television poll after the game.
- The captain and assistant captains of the teams engage in a game of Cluedo for the victory at center ice.
Eye candy
Click the picture to see the whole thing:

The girls should probably ignore the anti-candy in the background.

Only Nick could make that anti-candy in the background disappear...
ReplyDeleteAnd DMac moment number 4 gets me every freaking time. Like in the cup commercial where no one can come up with how it feels but we all know he finally was healed? Just thinking about the video of his face at that moment is making me all teary eyed
Definitely. That moment is fricking beautiful
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything except the delay of game rule. Hack defensemen will be throwing pucks out the rink all the time if it's not in place.
ReplyDeleteRod Brind'amour deserves to be on the ugly list
ReplyDeletekeep up the good work,E