Saturday, September 4, 2010

300th post ramblings (lockout, cap, Wings pride and more)

This is my 300th post. I had something big planned. I have no idea what, but I wanted to do something big. Instead I lay here, a few beers in, writing about nothing. Seinfeld was a show about nothing and was pretty damn good wasn't it? Yeah? So I can fucking write my 300th post about nothing. Or everything. Or anything.

Right now I figure there is a 50/50 chance of ever finishing this post. I might decide I don't like it and throw it away. Maybe I have nothing to write, who knows? But I figure flow of conciousness is the way to go here. Like a litteral James Joyce of blogging. James Joyce sucks by the way. Did you like Ulysses? Yeah right, I am sorry, but you're a fucking poser. No one liked Ulysses. People just say it to try and look smart. It's pretentious to like it. No one does. I'm not sure Joyce did either, I bet he either wrote it while on ten different kinds of drugs or he wrote it trying to look smart. It sucks, it's boring, it's pointless, and anyone who claims anything else is a douchebag. I read it cause my parents gave up on it. I wanted to get further than them. I succeeded. Yay me. I got nothing for it. Can I have those hours of my life back?

Where was I? Flow of conciousness. Yes. I will go with that. First thought that comes to mind: My family found this blog. I'm not sure if I like that. The way I write her is different from how I act towards them, which is different from how I act towards my grandparents, which is different from how I act at uni, on twitter etc etc etc. We all have multi-faceted personalities. We all act in specific way towards specific types of people. Which on is me? All of them. And this side of me is a homerific, paranoid, vulgar asshole who feels free to swear like a sailor and curse the refs for penalties a neutral observer would say is correct. This is not family me. Well, to my family, I'm not sure if I want you here, but you claim it is public domain, which is correct, so feel free to stay. Just know I won't change what I write here at all for you. This is the first and last time I adress you and I will continue to pretend you don't read this... wait a second.. dear little brother, the Oilers suck. They are useless. ... back.. okay done.

First of all, I am gonna be honest here. The lockout talk is pissing me the fuck off. It is two year removed. The NHL and the NHLPA just made progress. Why worry now? We have a great season ahead of us and we should focus on that, not a potential lockout in 2012. Let's worry about it if it happens. I think it won't, but I see that it can happen. What I am trying to say is, stop the negativity! This is out of your control. If it happens, then it happens. Enjoy the hockey we are about to enjoy instead! Seriously people, we are about to be presented with thousands of hours of really fucking compelling games on the highest of all high levels. Focus on that! Not a potential lockout. I'm not scared. If it happens, then it happens.

Also, I know some of you are disillusioned, I know some of you have seen this before. We all have. But a lockout is not meant as spitting in our faces, it is not done specificly to fuck over fans. Get over it. It sucks, and it does fuck us over, but that is a sad side-effect. I don't like lockouts either, but I don't think they are made to fuck me personally, or us fans, over. So please, if you threathen to pull away from hockey and from your Wings after a potential new lockout, like I have seen about 10-20 of my twitter followers do the last few weeks, then you might be disillusioned, you might be tired, but consider these two questions: 1. Do you really mean this? Do you think you can pull away from hockey completely? Don't you think that you'll be hungry as fuck for more hockey once the lockout is over? Yeah, stop the empty threaths then. If you're not convinced yet, then let's proceed to number two: 2. Are you really a serious hockey fan and a fan of your team if you'll give up the best league in the world, the best sport in the world and the team you love just because of a lockout? Really? Well.. off you go then...

Speaking about the lockout, I will gladly take a strike if it gets rid of the goddamn motherfucking piece of shit cuntwaffle of a salary cap. It's useless, it's made for weak teams, weak management and weak economies like Florida and Edmonton. In Detroit, fans pay to see the game, the same in New York, Toronto, Montreal etc etc.. Don't those teams' fans at least have the right to see their teams have an insane, and bigger amount of money to try and succeed? You have no fans? No people who cares, then fuck you! I don't care if you succeed. It is only fair that the clubs with more fans, and more revenue get to spend more money without being restrained by some retarded cap. And let me make this clear: I think BOTH the players AND the owners are greedy fucks, so I'm not gonna discuss THAT.

But furthermore, consider this: The Maple Leafs and the Rangers both spent insane amounts of money in the last years before the cap. Did they succeed? Nope. They fucking sucked. No matter how much money they used and how many washed up star players they signed they got no closer to the cup then I have gotten to sleeping with Kristen Bell. So, money is not everything. Consider this too: The payroll of the Lightning and the Flames in 04, the two teams that reached the finals were low, they were nowhere close to the top of the league, so if you are smart, and lucky, then you can win without a high payroll. Spending money is not enough, you have to be smart too.

Is it really fair that we had to let pieces of our team go last summer? And as much as it is fun, and deserved because of poor management, is it fair that the Hawks have to let their championship team go? Good drafting and development now only gives you a small window and then you are in cap hell. That's not fair. It should be rewarded. It should be rewarded highly. It should be rewarded so fucking highly, for as long as those players play. But it doesn't under the cap. Not at all. Teams are broken up because the development was too good. What the fuck is fair about that? Nothing. And look at it this way: In the NHL today, all the non-star players get shoved around, changing teams like Tiger Woods change sexual partners. Sometimes you can't recognize teams from one year to another. Before the cap you had stability, you had more franchise players among the grinders too. You could look at a team and feel identity in not only the logo, but the players. We in Detroit still have that, we are lucky, we have AMAZING management, but look at the rest of the NHL. How many teams can say that that survived over the past 10 years, throught the lockout, save for a few players on each team. And on top of that, the blockbuster trades: GONE. So we basicly lost EVERY fucking aspect that was fun about player movement and loyalty, and it is replaced with fucking Kovalchuk drama. Yeah.. I love the cap.

And in the end, it comes down to this: If my Red Wings draft well, develop players well, sign well, trade well and earn a shit-ton of money due to success, being in a strong Hockeytwon, with fans who pay money, companies paying money for ads, etc etc, they deserve to be allowed to keep their team and spend as much money as they want and not be stopped because some retards were moronic enough to give teams to fucking Phoenix and Florida and other places where everyone could see hockey wouldn't work. It's not fair to the teams, not to the fans, to no one. So let's throw the fucking salary cap away. Now.

Last of all, as a statement to celebrate my 300th post and since this is the post where Andy swears a lot and is a huge asshole. I will make a statement. Dear fans of the other 29 teams. We ARE better than you. Sorry, but that is how it is. Our team has history and recent success. How many other teams can say that? None! Detroit is hockey royalty, it is the pinnacle of hockey in the last 20 years and among the top cities in hockey history. Our fans are knowledgeable and passionate as fuck. We have an amazing amount of blogs and tweeters, and they all know their shit. We're constantly being kicked at by other teams' fans. We have a right to be paranoid, the refs and the league seem to rule against us unfairly more often than against anyone else. We have the right to be proud and we have the right to be paranoid. And seeing as out organization has been filled with the classiest of players, we have the right to bash douchebags like Rosby and 20 cent. Hockeytown earned it for us. Our team is the best and classiest, our organization is the best and classiest. Our fan base is the most passionate and knowledgable and we don't smash cars and cities when we win. So we have right to be proud, damn proud. Sure, if the douchebags who constantly attack us and talk shit to us had kept their inferior, jealous mouths shout we would even be classy about it. But hell, we raised a fucking huge amount of bucks for a Children's hospital, we brought Herm to Hockeytown. We will have NHL's biggest gathering of bloggers and tweeps in March. We have a right to be proud. Of our team, of our organization and of our fanbase that is made up of some of the most intelligent and awesome people I have ever talked to. And we have the right to expect our team to lift the cup EVERY damn year. As the sticker I got from Scotty Bowman back in 96 said: "Proud to be a Wings fan". I am. Always will be. I have never been to Detroit. I have never been to the United States. But when I get to Detroit in March it is going to feel like coming home for the first time. It is the second hometown that I have never been to. It is the place I hail from that I have no formal ties to. I AM FROM DETROIT, I AM A WINGS FAN AND I AM PRETTY FUCKING PROUD OF IT!


  1. Fucking awesome, man. I disagree with you about the cap, but I goddamn love this post Well done, man.

  2. Haha well, we all have to disagree on something, and while I often disagree with your views on it, they always threathen to win me over when you formulate them. And thanks man :)

  3. Great post, tho I don't agree with your capview (any chance soccer influenced you on that?).

  4. Definitely a bit influenced by that, even though an uncapped NHL would never come close to how soccer is in terms of un-parity

  5. Holy fucking rant Batman!

    My mom found my blog a few months ago. She was like: I liked your post about the animals.

    ....Aw shit...

  6. Well, you know what part I agree with 100% so I'm not gonna get into that on here... I actually encourage my family to read my blog, but out of fear of future employers finding it, I'm super careful about what I write/put up...I strongly agree with you not changing this one bit for their sake, FightNight is awesome in part because you're such a vulgar homer and we wouldn't want it any other way :)

    As for the cap, I'm not really sure what to think about it, but it does tend to punish teams as much as it "helps out" ones that have no money. And a smart GM with a little luck can still find a way to keep a team strong *cough* Kenny *cough* so I'm not really sure what good it's doing... but then again, I don't study it, so what do I know?

    That last bit, as I admitted last night, made me tear up a bit. I can't wait to welcome you home to your adopted-but-never-visted hometown :)

  7. Rob: Hahahahhaha awesome

    Sara: I won't change, I promise :)

    And yeah, it punishes teams a lot. And well Kenny does manage it very well.


  8. Thanks Natalie. In related news: Andy needs a life :P