Sunday, February 21, 2010

Dion's new book

No idea if this is funny, but I was bored and decided to get a copy of a recent interview Dion Phaneuf did about his new book:

Off to Vienna

So, we shit the bed in biathlon for both genders and Aksel Lund Svindal lead after the downhill, but went out in the slalom in the super combination. But Audun Grønvold took the bronze in ski cross. This is probably the last I'll see of these Olympics.

Early tomorrow morning (I slep all day and gonna stay up all night to watch hockey and to not oversleep) I am going on the annual political science student's trip. This year it goes to Vienna, so I guess I might accidentally get to see some Olympic stuff in some sports bar or something. I will bring my laptop and our hostel is supposed to have wifi, but I have no clue about how it will work and with different sightseeings, lectures and other subject related stuff in the day time and party all night, I won't be online much I guess. So I'll be back here the 3rd of March (or well, when I have recovered and gotten up to speed on Wings games, which might take some time. Judging from my experience in Istanbul last year, 40 students alone in a big city can get pretty gnarly on the alcohol side). So, anywho. Take care folks and I'll se you all in 10 days time.

The hug (An actuall Red Wings post)

Thanks to Dena for finding the video of this and providing the link. You can find it at the end:

So, I woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn't sleep. So I had my regular ritualistic watching of the Fight Night. There are many moments in that game that stand out to me and I am sure they stand out to you guys too. But there is one moment, that I think I have mentioned before, that gets me, moves me and makes me smile every time. It might just be the best Red Wing moment that doesn't include the Stanley Cup. After DMac's winning goal he stands by the exit high fiveing all the players. At the end Draper comes along, and he gives him a big bear hug. It's hard to explain what is so special about it, but the way it says a thousand words really makes it special. And I think it shows what kinda guys these guys are and also how much that game meant to both those two and the team as a whole. Just a beautiful moment I had to acknowledge.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Don't feel like it

Meh. The ski jumpers jumped bad, got bad conditions and Simon Ammen (SUI) won his 4th Olympic gold ever, which is a new record.

Petter Northug collapsed and got a 9th or something on the 30 km xc skiathlon. M. Hellner from Sweden won. Fuck. 5-3 now.

The hockey team played a good game, but the defense had some huge errors that cost them. Tore Vikingstad scored a hat trick, but the Swiss still won in OT. At least that single point might give us an easier opponent in the next game. Mats Aasen was spectacular. The refs sucked donkey balls. Even the Swedish announcers hated the too many men-penalty the Swiss scored their 4-3 goal on and 30 seconds before the 5-4 sudden death goal, a Norwegian was first clearly held, then his stick was held.

Meh...

Friday, February 19, 2010

A vintage Olympic effort

Ah, this is how the Olympics used to feel like. Gold medals coming in flood waves and a whole lot of fun.

The day started with Alpine Super G. It looked like it would be a clusterfuck of an ending with just a tenth of a second or so between the first 4-5 skiers. The snow looked like it was getting worse and slower. Then Aksel Lund Svindal started his run. He struggled a bit at the top, but came on as the run went on and finished 0.28 seconds in front of the silver medalist, Bode Miller from the US. Andrew Weibrecht (USA) got the bronze.

Marit Bjørgen was the queen of cross country skiing and topped that off with 3 golds at the 2005 world championships. But then she started failing at the championships, her confidence took a hit and she became weaker. This year she has become much better again, got a bronze at the opening 10 km, won the sprint and continued her onslaught tonight. The distance was 15 km, a distance with 7.5 km of classic skiing, then a ski change and then 7.5 of free skiing/skate-style. Three Norwegians were among the seven who had a good lead after the classic part (the fourth, Vibeke Skofterud fell and knocked her shoulder off). The group was then minimized to four, with 2 of them being Norwegians. And then, halfway through the last lap, Marit Bjørgen took off and controlled alone for the rest of the race. Who knows what she's gonna follow this with on the last individual distance. Anna Haag from Sweden took the silver and Justyna Kowalcyk (Poland) and Kristin Størmer Steira from Norway was so close it required photo finish for the third. Initially it seemed like Steira had won, because she was celebrating. Apparently she was credited with the bronze at first on the big screen. But then it became official, Kowalcyk had timed her finish just a tiny bit better and won by a few inches. That kinda sucks, because Steira has no Olympic medals and in Torino in 2006, she got four fourth places. And this was another one. Therese Johaug got a nice sixth place in her Olympic debut. This is very promissing for the relay.

We now have 5 golds, which is about what we would expect to have by now. Continue like this Norway, and I will be damned proud. And we lead Sweden by three golds.

Hopefully the curling team can cap this off with a victory against Germany later tonight and old Dersiree WhothefuckcaresaboutskeletonsoIhavenoclueabouther can do decently in the Skeleton later.

Go Norway

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A hundred and one reasons...

... to be a proud Norwegian:

We took our 100th and 101st winter Olympic golds today (we have 54 summer golds). Here's a list of all of them ((F) marks female, * marks a participant in the current olympics). Some pretty amazing achievements and athletes on here:

Chamonix 1924:
Thorleif Haug - Cross country 18 km
Thorleif Haug - Cross country 50 km
Thorleif Haug - Nordic combined
Jacob Tullin Thams - Ski-jumping

St. Moritz 1928:
Johan Grøttumsbråten - Cross country 18 km
Johan Grøttumsbråten - Nordic combined
Alf Andersen - Ski jumping
Bernt Evensen - Speed skating 500 m
Ivar Ballangrud - Speed skating 5000 m
Sonja Henie (F) - Figue skating

Lake Placid 1932:
Johan Grøttumsbråten - Nordic combined
Birger Ruud - Ski jumping
Sonja Henie (F) - Figure skating

Garmisch Partenkirchen 1936:
Oddbjørn Hagen - Nordic combined
Birger Ruud - Ski jumping
Ivar Ballangrud - Speed skating 500 m
Charles Mathiesen - Speed skating 1500 m
Ivar Ballangrud - Speed skating 5000 m
Ivar Ballangrud - Speed skating 10000 m
Sonja Henie (F) - Figure skating

St Moritz 1948:
Petter Hugsted - Ski jumping
Finn Helgesen - Speed skating 500 m
Sverre Farstad - Speed skating 1500 m
Reidar Liaklev - Speed skating 5000 m

Oslo 1952:
Hallgeir Brenden - Cross country 18 km
Simon Slottvik - Nordic combined
Arnfinn Bergmann - Ski jumping
Stein Eriksen - Giant slalom
Hjalmar Andersen - Speed skating 1500 m
Hjalmar Andersen - Speed skating 5000 m
Hjalmar Andersen - Speed skating 10000 m

Cortina 1956:
Hallgeir Brenden - Cross country 18 km
Sverre Stenersen - Nordic combined

Squaw Valley 1960:
Håkon Brusveen - Cross country 15 km
Roald Aas - Speed skating 1500 m
Knut Johanessen - Speed skating 10000 m

Innsbruck 1964:
Tormod Knutsen - Nordic combined
Toralf Engan - Ski jumping (big hill)
Knut Johanessen - Speed skating 5000 m

Grenoble 1968:
Harald Grønningen - Cross country 15 km
Ole Ellefsæter - Cross country 50 km
Norway - Cross country men's relay
Norway (F)- Cross country women's relay
Fred Anton Maier - Speed skating 5000 m
Magnar Solberg - biathlon

Sapporo 1972:
Pål Tyldum - Cross country 50 km
Magnar Solberg - Biathlon

Innsbruck 1976:
Ivar Formo - Cross country 50 km (last to win olympic gold on wooden skis)
Jan Egil Storholt - Speed skating 1500 m
Sten Stensen - Speed skating 1000 m

Lake Placid 1980:
Bjørg Eva Jensen (F) - Speed skating 3000 m

Sarajevo 1984:
Norway (F) - Cross country women's relay
Tom Sandberg - Nordic combined
Eirik Kvalfoss - Biathlon 10 km sprint

Calgary 1988:
None

Albertville 1992:
Kjetil André Aamodt - Super G (Alpine)
Finn Christian Jagge - Slalom
Bjørn Dæhlie - Cross country 50 km
Vegard Ulvang - Cross country 30 km
Vegard Ulvang - Cross country 10 km
Bjørn Dæhlie - Cross country 15 km pursuit
Norway - Cross country relay
Johan Olav Koss - Speed skating 1500 m
Geir Karlstad - Speed skating 5000 m

Lillehammer 1994:
Bjørn Dæhlie - Cross country 10 km
Bjørn Dæhlie - Cross country 15 km pursuit
Thomas Alsgaard - Cross country 30 km
Fred Børre Lundberg - Nordic combined
Espen Bredesen - Ski jumping (small hill)
Lasse Kjus - Alpine skiing combination
Stine Lise Hattestad (F) - Freestyle skiing moguls
Johan Olav Koss - Speed skating 1500 m
Johan Olav Koss - Speed skating 5000 m
Johan Olav Koss - Speed skating 10000 m

Nagano 1998:
Bjørn Dæhlie - Cross country 10 km
Thomas Alsgaard - Cross country 15 km pursuit
Bjørn Dæhlie - Cross country 50 km
Norway - Cross country men's relay
Bjarte Engen Vik - Nordic combined
Norway - Nordic combined team competition
Hans Petter Buraas - Slalom
Ådne Søndrål - Speed skating 1500 m
Halvard Hanevold* - Biathlon 20 km
Ole Einar Bjørndalen* - Biathlon 10 km

Salt Lake City 2002:
Kjetil André Aamodt - Alpine skiing combination
Kjetil André Aamodt - Super G
Ole Einar Bjørndalen* - Biathlon 10 km
Ole Einar Bjørndalen* - Biathlon pursuit
Ole Einar Bjørndalen* - Biathlon 20 km
Norway (including Bjørndalen* and Hanevold*) - Biathlon men's relay
Frode Estil - Cross country pursuit (shared with:)
Thomas Alsgaard - Cross country pursuit
Bente Skari (F) - Cross country 10 km
Tor Arne Hetland - Cross country sprint
Norway - Cross country men's relay
Norway - Men's curling
Kari Traa - Freestyle Moguls

Torino 2006:
Lars Bystøl - Ski jump (small hill)
Kjetil André Aamodt - Super G

Vancouver 2010:
Marit Bjørgen (F)* - Cross country sprint
Tora Berger (F)* - Biathlon 15 km
Emil Hegle Svendsen* - Biathlon 20 km

USA recap and the return of truly awesome

So, because today is thursday (the day I go to my dad's house and walk the dog) and the fact that my dad's company/insitute/agency/firm had it's yearly dinner between the board and leaders and the minister of business and trade and his crew, which made me have to drive my siblings around, I missed the second period and the beginning of the third. Seen some replays, so here's my short take.


Tora Berger, I have never loved a so ugly woman so much as I love her today

We started out badly, and just as I predicted before the Olympics, the defensemen from the Norwegian elite league were too slow. Their errors lead to 5 of the 6 goals. The last was a bad faceoff. We came on stronger later in the game and had some good offense. The goal was a nice individual effort. Nice to see us have a bit of fight in us, but sad to see a late collapse.
- Patrick Thoresen was the best Norwegian for the second game in a row. He has clearly shown that he deserves the one-way NHL deal he wants this summer.
- Mats Aasen looked great again. I hope Kyle's rumours are true. I'd love to see him as a Red Wing.
- Like Pasha, we need more shoot.

Over to biathlon: Tora Berger from Norway followed up a good pursuit (where she had the best time, but started to far behind to win) with another great race and took her first Olympic gold and Norway's 100th winter olympic gold ever (first to reach that barrier) with a 20 second differential. Nice to see the eternal number 4 win. Elena Khrustaleva from Kazakstan took the silver, Darja Domratsyeva from Belarus took the bronze.


Emil Hegle Svendsen seems to be taking the throne as the best biathlonist in the world this year


But the King himself, the best biathlonist, nay, best ski athlete ever, Ole Einar Bjørndalen is still kicking pretty hard. Silver today.

In the men's normal distance race, the crown prince of biathlon Emil Hegle Svendsen took the gold and also the world cup lead. The king himself, Ole Einar Bjørndalen shared the silver with a Belarusian named Novikov. This put Norway up to three golds, which is one ahead of Sweden (beating Sweden is the main goal). So the awesome is back! We also beat Germany in curling. We're truly on the board, we have momentum, the court case is dropped for now, I don't hate my nation anymore. World, look out! We're coming tro get you! (OK, the biathlon race is actually not over, but noone who are left has a chance it seems).


Sergei Novikov, who in an interview on Norwegian TV said that he could barely believe he was sharing the podium with those two guys. We think. His English wasn't that good

When you want to beat Americans

Big day today for the hockey team, but first, let's talk biathlon. Both the men and women have their normal distance today. This is a distance that require excellent shooting, so it's not our favourite, but we still have good chances. Let's double that gold count!

Norway will face off against the US today in hockey. I don't have high hopes, but hopefully we can play well and disiplined and keep it tight like we did early against Canada. Sadly, I have family duty tonight and I don't know how much I get to see of the game, so no keys to the game tonight.

Pregame heating
If I actually took shots at the US and said things I really hate I would probably hurt a lot of people, so I'm going in a different direction with this one. This one surfaced on the internet a few years ago, and is not, as it first was claimed, written by John Cleese:
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Unexpected redemption and unexpected failure (the post with the gold medal and stuff)


Marit Bjørgen, Norway's first gold winner these Olympics. She has struggled a lot in big championships, due to illness, but also due to nerves. Hopefully her start with a bronze and a gold can open the floodgates

In the prologue of the xc sprint all Norwegians qualified for the main event. 3 of the 4 women and all the men went through to the semis and two Norwegian women and three Norwegian men went to the finals. I have talked a lot of shit about Marit Bjørgen through the years, because she has been a choker and used to many explanations. I take it back. Everything. Because in the final she held the pace of Poland's Justyna Kowalzyk, passed her in the last downhill part and just went away with it on the stretch. Dominant victory. THANK YOU. I love you. I forgive you for everything, actually, I'm sorry for what I've said.

In the men's final, the two Russians just raced off and when the best looking Norwegian Øystein Pettersen fell in a downhill part after a Khazakstanian stepped on his ski, they got it served. Petter Northug took the third, which gives promis for the rest of the Olympics. Still, this is an event we should have won. Especially with three guys (of the six) in the final and the main favourite Emil Jönsson from Sweden eliminated. So today we got an unexpected victory and then a huge FAIL, especially from the world's best sprinter Ola Vigen Hattestad. Just one thing: Two young Russians that haven't won too much were strong as hell through it all and blasted everyone in the final. It would suck if they, like countless Russians before them these last years, have to give back their medals because they are drugged.

Last of all, I am not a fan at all, but Petra Majdic from Slovenia impressed me today. She was the biggest favourite, but during the warmups she fell horribly. (I can't find a video, but will post when it gets uploaded on youtube). She fell in a downhill turn and just slided out of the track and very unluckily hit the one spot where there was a 1-2 meter hole down. Her back was badly hurt and she was in pain after the prologue where she barely qualified. She was taken to the hospital for tests and they showed nothing was broken. She then scrambled herself through the quarters and semis, barely advancing each time and she was visibly in pain after finish each time. In the finals she took the bronze. That's strong as hell. Proves that she is tough as nails.


Petra Majdic's toughness is maybe not that surprising when we see that she looks like she eats babies for breakfast

Another day, another shot at redemption

This is giving me serious flashbacks to an event somewhere in Italy 4 years ago that I have forced myself to forget. Arrrgghh. There too all our favourites failed and it was two unlikely heroes that took home our goals. That said, the two first periods of the hockey game last night and the curling game against the US (narrow win) were much better. But it'd be sweet to get that gold. Not many chances today, but big ones:

- Will the men's alpine super combination go today after being postponed for weather reasons last night? If it does, Aksel Lund Svindal should be a favourite.
- Halfpipe for men. I don't think we'll do well there.
- Cross country sprint for women and men. If you're gonna see one event of xc these Olympics this is the one. Pretty exciting and understandable for everyone. In the women's event we are outsiders, but in the men's we have a strong team and should be able to take this one home. Which most likely means it will go to Sweden.
- We'll also play another curling game

Canada recap

Norway played two good periods and then collapsed. I am proud of the effort in the first two.

Recap
The game started pretty decent for Norway. We were in the game and though we made some dumb mistakes we didn't have to pay for them. We even had some good chances early on. After around 7 minutes Norway got a PP. The PP wasn't great and was killed off. The team continued grinding and didn't let Canada dominate them. Norway then got on the PP on a dirt cheep hooking call. It was killed off absolutely beautifully and Grotnes was huge. Patrick Thoresen too flashed some PK skills. We then played well, but we got another PK against us. Decent call, but it baffles me that Getzlaf got away with a huge hit to the head the other way. We killed another one with help of good PKing, good goalie and a fan by Getzlaf. Tied to the break. Amazing stuff guys. Outshot 14-4, but with decent control.

Norway started the second by taking a penalty. The Canadians had a cross bar on their PP. And with thirteen seconds left Iginla beat Grotnes on a slapper. We responded well, but then Heatly steared a Pronger shot into the net. 2-0. Not the second period start we wanted. Norway unravelled a bit right after this, but stood up and had a couple of nice shifts after that again. Then Norway got on the PP. The PP had pressure and great work by Matthis Olimb led to another penalty and a 5-on-3. Some nice chances, but no luck, so another regular PP. But instead of netting our chances, Grotnes let out a bad rebound and refused to drop to butterfly and let Mike Richards score right after the PP was over. Canada started taking the game to us, but we played good defense. Sadly we had no offensive chances during this time. Then we got another penalty. Good kill. More good play by Grotnes. And then Heatley got called for a douchebag play. Some good chances, but no goals on the 2nd period part of the PP.

The third started with the rest of the Norway PP. it didn't work, but then Mats Zuccarello Aasen, a small guy, provoked Cindy so much he took a penalty. Thoresen got a magical chance on the PP, but put it over. Then, after the PP, with a delayed call and a Norwegian witout a stick, Getzlaf scored after the Norwegians thought they had touched the puck. Goalie change came. My long time teammate André Lysenstøen was put in net. The next couple of shifts were bad and Avs prospect Jonas Holøs made a couple of bad turnovers. Then Norway was penalized again. On the PP Heatley scored. Open shot. Lysenstøen should have had it. Then the Norwegian's got outplayed and let in another one. It unraveled after this and they got 7-0 too. In the last minutes we tightened up a bit, but got no offensive chances. The Lysenstøen let in a horrible one.

Thoughts
- Mats Aasen looked good from the get go. I hope Kenny, Mike and Stevie were watching.
- Great start from Norway.
- Canada has NOT understood no-touch icing.
- I at least once wrote "the Wings" instead of "Norway".
- Patrick Thoresen was great and prooved that he is an NHL quality player.

Keys to the game
- Norway needs top notch goaltending from Grotnes
In the first period he was excellent. Some great saves, especially with his glove. He was pretty good in the second too, but sadly he was very bad on the 3-0 goal. He had no chance on the fourth. Lysenstøen started off with a bad goal. Then he continued stinking it up.

- We need to play solid defense, keep them to the perimeter and minimize odd man rushes
We did this too very well in the first. We had a couple of dumb turnovers, but the forwards did great work defensively and we didn't pay for them. The second wasn't much worse, but the Canadians were much better and forced a few more bad plays. In the third we got a bit worse on this.

- We need to stay out of the box
Didn't do that too well. Too many penalties.

- We need to be effective with our chances
Not at all. We tried for too nice plays instead of gritty goals.

Norwegian play of the game
The play that lead to Thoresen's huge chance.

Norwegian of the game
Patrick Thoresen proved that he is an NHL class player.

The 2010 National Suckfest Championships


Magdalena Neuner, Germany, won gold.

I gave the Norwegia squad a chance for a redemption day. These were the events and results:
- Curling. Lost to Canada in overtime. Decent game. USA later tonight.
- Super combination alpine skiing. Postponed.
- Snowboardcross: Helene Olafsen dominated her semi final, but fell away from a medal in the final. 4th place. M. Ricker from Canada won in front of D. Anthonoiz from France and Olivia Nobs from Switzerland.
- In the women's biathlon pursuit we just weren't good enough. Magdalena Neuner from Germany (started second) won in blowout style. Anastazia Kuzmina (Slovakia, 1st)took the silver and Marie Laure Brunet (France, 6th) the bronze. Tora Berger (Norge, 33rd) took the 5th and Ann Kristin Flatland (Norway, 10th) the eight. Good race by Berger, but not good enough.
- In the men's biathlon pursuit both Ole Einar Bjørndalen (17th) and Emil Hegle Svendsen (2nd) had the chance at the last shooting, but they both lost their nerves and placed 7th and 8th respectively. Suckfest, not good enough. To make things worse, Björn Ferry from Sweden (8th) won in front of Cristoph Sumann (austria, 12th) and Vincent Jay (France, 1st). Fuck you Jobu.
- The hockey team has yet to play.

Shit day. Fucking horrendous. I quit being Norwegian. I am ashamed, shocked and appaled at the lack of clutch. This shit used to be our thing. Now we suck at it. Fuck you Olympic team! Fuck you!


Not only does she do biathlon like Norwegians used to (shoot unsteadily, but ski fast) and compete like Norwegians used to (win), but she's damn hot as well. I want!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Young Norwegians sues Olympic teams and state

In a shocking press release today, two young Norwegian bloggers named "Andy" and "Cake" sued the Norwegian Olympic team for treason. They also sued the state of Norway for treason against them. "As a Norwegian it is your birthright to expect 10-12 golds per winter Olympic and so far we have had none," one of them said. "The effort so far in these Olympics have been shameful and we feel that the team has betrayed us and the state of Norway. So we are suing them for treason and also for future loss of earnings because the time we spent watching in vain could have been spent studying. We also feel that the state of Norway has a responsibility to create athletes good enough to win. We have failed, so we hereby sue the state." The boys are also pushing criminal charges for this. The case was opened after the Norwegian male biathlonists decided to stink up the arena at the Olympic pursuit with a 7th place as their best effort. And a swede won.

The plaintiff's attorney F. Uck Sweden said this earlier tonight: "The boys have a good case. We are also looking at pressing charges for crimes against humanity for their unwillingness to show the world their amazing skills at this grand stage. We are looking for millions in the case and hope to have everyone involved with the Olympic teams locked away for several years."

The boys, when asked by AP, stated that they would not settle on this case. "We want to see them sentenced and let them feel the humiliation," said one of them.

The Olympic squad has expressed that they are baffled at this case and they have hired notorious defense lawyer Vidkun Quisling, a treason expert, as their attorney.

M1A2 Abrams vs. midget with a stick


Team Canada


Team Norway

So... Norway vs. Canada in hockey. We all hope for a major upset, but let's be realistic here, that will happen the day we have world piece and the Rangers have sensible management. I'm not gonna write a long preview here, just state that I hope we don't get buttfucked too hard. Right now I'm watching curling and can't be arsed to make an effort.

Guys to watch
- Ole Kristian Tollefsen is out because of sickness in the family.
- Mats Zuccarello Aasen is one of the top players in Sweden and Kyle at BDS has reported that the Wings are scouting him.
- Per Åge Skrøder, one of the top point getters in Sweden.
- Tommy Jakobsen, 173 cm, 37 years and pure fucking will.
- Patrick Thoresen, one of the top players in the KHL.

Reasons to hate Canada
- Crosby
- Getzlaf
- Perry
- Niedermayer, I could go like this for years, they're all douchebags
- The fact Rush wasn't in the opening ceremony
- Don Cherry
- The fact Neil Young wasn't in the opening ceremony
- The opening ceremony
- Nelly Furtado
- Bryan Adams

Okay, so a couple of reasons to love Canada
- Stevie, Kenny and Babbles
- Neil Young and Rush
- Robin from How I met your mother

Keys to the game
- Norway needs top notch goaltending from Grotnes
- We need to play solid defense, keep them to the perimeter and minimize odd man rushes
- We need to stay out of the box
- We need to be effective with our chances
- Buttloads of luck

Podcast entertainment

I was lucky enough to be able to participate in The Obstructed View for the second time this Sunday. Hollis from Motown Wings was the host as always, together with his producer Brian. The other guests were Ellen from Big Red Machine and Casey from Winging it in Motown. I had a great time making the episode (even though there were some tehcnical trouble, Casey hilariously got dropped mid sentence once) and I hope you have half as much fun listening to it. Among topics of discussion were:
- The week that went by
- The Maltby situation
- Injuries
- Franzen and Homer
- Are the Eurotwins captain material?
- The OLympics

Click here for the episode

Redemption day

Norwegian winter olympics hit rock bottom in Calgary in 1988. We didn't win a single gold medal. This revved up an impressive program that saw us win 9 golds in Albertville in 92, 10 at home at Lillehammer in 94, the same in Nagano in 98 and 13 in Salt Lake in 02. In 2006 in Torino/Turin/whatever every god damn Norwegian failed horribly except for Lars Bystøl, a ski jumper who had one of his few drug free periods (drugs as in narcotics) and won the small hill and our veteran Kjetil Andre Aamodt who won the Super G. Two golds. We don't talk about it anymore. These olympics are supposed to be different. We all have high expectations and there is a reason behind that. Last year there were Worlc Championships in both alpine skiing, nordic ski events (xc, ski jump, combined) and biathlon. The events during those championships are for all intents and purposes the same as those in the Olympics. Over the course of those three championships Norway won a grand total of 10 gold medals, 5 in the Nordic events (Petter Northug 2 individual xc golds, men's xc relay, Ola Vigen Hattestad in men's xc sprint and men's xc sprint relay), 4 in biathlon (3 individual by Ole Einar Bjørndalen and men's relay) and 1 in alpine skiing (Aksel Lund Svindal). So we should be able to expect the same just from those kinds of events and maybe one or two golds from other events. So far, we've got nothing. And if the athletes doesn't want me to try and sue them for treason they can start fixing that today.

Here are today's events:
- The curling starts. We are outsiders, but could have a chance.
- The Super Cobination alpine skiing (downhill+slalom) is supposed to go today. Aksel Lund Svindal is reigning world champion and the big favourite there.
- Helene Olafsen has won a couple of big races in snowboardcross lately and is a contender tonight.
- In the women's biathlon pursuit we only have two girls. Our best, Tora Berger, probably starts to far behind after a bad sprint, but everything can happen. And Ann Kristin Flatland should be in position to compete for medals.
- In the men's biathlon pursuit Emil Hegle Svendsen is the favourite. He starts as number 2, just a few seconds behind sunday's french surprise winner.
- The hockey team will start their parade towards the gold with a win against Canada. More on that later, but rumours (per @ABern55 who has talked to some of the guys says Tollefsen won't go. He will have more on that at Cake @ the Devil later today.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Medals aren't enough

The women's 10 km free cross country ended as expected. Charlotte Kalla, Sweden's golden girl won the gold. Kristina Smigun, and Estonian woman who narrowly escaped a doping suspension a few years ago, won the silver. Her comeback this season hasn't been that good so far and her amazing race was a bit of a surprise. Enough to at least my suspicions (which generally pop up when Estonians, Finns and Russians do too well in these thing). Marit Bjørgen, a pereniall whiny loser from Norway took the third place. She has once again promised us a good season and says she feels good and for the first time in like forever she is sickness free in a championship and we have the right to expect a gold. But well, it went as I thought and she didn't go well enough. Other Norwegians: 8th Kristin Størmer Steira, 22nd Vibeke Skofterud and 49th Marthe Kristoffersen. Decent and as expected by the two first, but too bad by the two last. Results at NRK.


Swedish gold medalist Charlotte Kalla

In the men's downhill competition Norwegian outsider Aksel Lund Svindal followed up a bad start with an amazing finish. It was almost enough, but he got the silver, losing to Didier Defago from Switzerland with only 0:07 seconds. American Bode Miller took the bronze, 0:09 behind Defago. Absolutely acceptable by Svindal, but when it was that close, a silver is bitter. But at least this gives us hopes for the combination, where he should be among the biggest favourites. Other Norwegians:
Results at NRK.


Norwegian silver medalist Aksel Lund Svindal

The men's 15 km free cross country was supposed to be our worst xc event for men, but noone had expected it to be the worst xc men's event for Norway in the history of the Olympics. But it did, when our favourite Petter Northug had a bad day and just gave up and ended in 41st place and our other medal candidate Ronny Hafsås still felt his cold and ended in 42nd. Our two underdogs weren't much better and Tord Asle Gjerdalen was the best Norwegian in 28th, while Martin Johnsrud Sundby got the 33rd place. Dario Cologna from Switzerland won in front of Pietro Piller Cotrer from Italy and the Czech Lukas Bauer. Not good enough. I want to change my citizenship. I want everyone involved on trial for treason. Full results at NRK.

Of course, both our snowboard cross guys went out in the first round.

Your guide to the metric system

The recording of TOV last night made me think. I post a lot of stuff here using the metric system (since it is my native system and honestly, everyone except Americans and Brits use it, and well, it's more logical). And in these Olympic times, much info comes your way in the metric system. So here is a guide to the metric system.

Lenght
1 meter (m) = 10 decimeters (dm) = 100 centimeters (cm) = 1000 millimeters (mm).
1 kilometer (km) = 1000 meters. 10 kilometers = 1 metric mile.
1 inch = 2,54 cm. 1 foot = 30.48 cm. 1 yard = 91.44 cm.

Some practical examples:
I am 1,76 m/176 cm tall. That is 5 feet and 9,29 inches.
If you are driving 80 km/h you are driving 49,7 mph.

Weight
The base unit is a gram (g). 1000 milligrams (mg) = 1 g. 100 g = 1 hektogram (hg). 1000 g = 1 kilogram (kg, the most used unit). 1000 kg = 1 metric tonn.
1 pound = 0,45 kg.

Practical:
I weight 72 kg. That is 158,4 pounds.

Volume
1 litre (l) = 10 decilitres (dl) = 100 centilitres (cl) = 1000 millilitres (ml).
1 litre = 33,81 ounces = 0,26 gallons.

So, any more nice info?
Yup! Not only do you see that everything here is based on the number 10, thus making conversion easy. There is also a connection between litres, meters and kilos. Look at this:
- 1 litre of pure water weighs excactly 1 kg.
- 1 liter is the same as 1 cubic decimeter.

Bonus, celcius
0 degrees celcius is the freezing temperature of pure water. 100 degrees celcius is the boiling temperature of pure water. If you want to convert a temperature in celcius to fahrenheit the formula is like this (celcius temperature x 9/5) + 32.
0 celcius is 32 fahrenheit.

The best thing to happen since electric prune juice

My friend who's an Avs fan recently decided not only to start tweeting, but he also launched a blog about Team Norway! His spelling might be spotty, but it's good stuff. (For the record he is also a damn good rythm guitarist/singer/songwriter). Read his blog at Cake @ the Devil and follow him on Twitter at @ABern55

EDIT: Oh, and BTW, his debut post has several digs at Cindy in it

Sunday, February 14, 2010

A medal, but not much more.

Today's two big contests were both severly damaged by the weather in Vancover.

The Ski Jump in Nordic combined has had a new set of rules in place this year to compensate for wind and weather differences. Everyone loves it and it has worked nicely. Because of that, it isn't used during the Olympics. The two best Norwegians Magnus Moan and Petter Tande both had to go off the track and wait to be able to jump and had horrible conditions. They were too far behind after the ski jump and ended up not making it, despite good efforts in the cross country part. Jason Lamy Chapuis won after having placed 5th in the ski jump (starting 46 seconds behind the leader). The silver and bronze went to Johnny Spillane (USA, 4th, 44 sec) and Alessandro Pittin (Italy, 6th, 48 seconds). Norwegian places: 9th Magnus Moan (40th, 2:06), 17th Petter Tande (22nd, 1:18), 23rd Jan Scmid (33rd, 1:42) and 32nd Mikko Kokslien (42nd, 2:16).
Full results at NRK.

The biathlon was affected by changing winds and most of all a snowfall. The first skiers got the best conditions and all the best 7 were among the first 14 starting. Emil Hegle Svendsen was the best Norwegian and won Norway's first medal with a silver. He had 1 miss, but due to good conditions and good skiing he made it. Starting just 12.2 seconds behind the surprise winner, Frenchman Vincent Jay (no mises) he will be the favourite for tuesday's pursuit. The bronze went to Croatian Jakov Fak (no misses). Nice, I love Croatia. Favourite Ole Einar Bjørndalen, shit the bed and missed 4 times. He came in 17th. Hallvard Hanevold and lars Berger didn't have good days either placing in 24th and 46th.

I don't think Maren Haugli (the last Norwegian today) will get a medal in 3000 meters women's skating. If she does I will post

Some more Biathlon previewing and Valentine's day

First up, I just wanna report that Magnus Moan won the two last races before the Olympics and might therefore be a favourite in the Nordic combined. I guess a bronze, but hope for a gold.

The Norwegian biathlonists today:
Ole Einar Bjørndalen (born 74): The master, the champion, the winningest winter athlete ever in the world cup and world championships, with perfect success (like he had when he swept the 02 Olympics) he will also be among the winningest Olympic athletes. Shoots fast and good, walks faster. The bad snow should suit him. If he hits the targets he gets a medal. 91 world cup victories (1 of them in cross country), 5-3-1 in Olympics, 14-10-9 in the world champs.

Emil Hegle Svendsen (born 85): Young gun. Good shooter, fast skier, a lot like Bjørndalen. 15 world cup wins, 3-1-1 in world championships. First Olympics, but maybe the biggest favourite.

Halvard Hanevold (born 69): Old, not that fast, but when he shoots well, he shoots amazing. Might get a medal or even a gold on a top day. 7 individual world cup victories, 2-2-1 in Olympics, 3-7-4 in world championships.

Lars Berger (born 79): Fast, not a good shooter, but if he hits, noone can stop him. 5 world cup victories. 1-4-0 in world championships and also has 3 golds (1 of them individual) in the cross country world champs.

Also, I want to wish all my female readers happy valentines day. As I said on Twitter (follow me for ALOT of olympic updates @FightNightatJoe) I haven't seen pictures of you all, but you sure as hell are beautiful and intelligent on the inside.

As a valentine's day gift, the most beautiful lighting of the Olympic fire ever. from Lillehammer 94:

Olympic day preview

So, another day of the Olympics and we have two very interesting events seen with Norwegian eyes.

First of all, we have the Nordic Combined event (ski jump+cross country). Magnus Moan is our best candidate there. He has struggled a bit this season, but come on strong lately and is at least an outsider. He is going to do poorly in the ski jump, the question is how poorly. Hopefully he will do well enough to get a start he can manage in the cross country, where he is among the fastest. Do not rule out Petter Tande either.

But the main event is the men's biathlon sprint. Ole Einar Bjørndalen, a man with 91 world cup victories and 19 championship golds is the favourite as always. And if things work for him, he might just run away with this one. Emil Hegle Svendsen has also been stellar this year, so don't rule him out either. As of right now I don't know who the last two Norwegians will be, but I know that whoever it is may get a medal or win on a perfect day.

Go Norway!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

At least the Swedes did worse

The first day ended without any Norwegian medals. In women's biathlon Anastazia Kuzmina from Slovakia shocked everyone and won with one miss. Magdalena Neuner from Germany came in 1,5 seconds after her (1 miss), the miss-free Marie Denin from France rounded out the podium. Norway's outsider Tora Berger missed two times and pulled a stinker, 33rd place. Ann Kristin Flatland on the other hand did very well and came in 10th. Her only miss was just by a millimeter or two, and if she had hit that one she'd have been in medal contention. Gro Marit Istad Kristiansen and Liv Kjersti Eikeland came in at number 66 and 70 respectively and will not get to go the pursuit race on tuesday. On the bright side, the Swedes also missed, Helena Jonsson came in 12th and their gold hope Anna Carin Olofsson-Zidek came in 20th. Anna Maria Nilsson took a surprising 16th. Full results at NRK.


Since Kuzmina is fugly, I will go with the über hot silver medalist Magdalena Neuner

In 5000 meters speed skating Sven Kramer from the Netherlands surprised noone by winning with a new Olympic record. Seung-Hoon Lee from Korea and Ivan Skobrev rounded out the podium. Norwegian hope Håvard Bøkko collapsed towards the end and came in 4th. Clearly the turmoil around him has affected him. Henrik Christiansen managed a very fine 8th place and Sverre Haugli came in 10th. Full results at NRK.


I prefer this Neuner pic to the slimmer Sid lookalike Kramer

So this is what a win feels like

Recap
The game started off pretty open ended, but after a while Detroit controlled it and had the best chances. Then around the halfway point, Meech, as a forward, showed great net presence and poked the puck loose and Maltby scored. The Wings dominated the next shifts too. Two fast commercial breaks took some momentum away thoug and the game went back to being open with chances both ways. Then the Wings got a PP. On the PP Z made an awesome steal and the play ended on Nick's stick. He saw Pasha coming unnoticed out from behind the goal and sent a shot pass on his stick that he deflected in. Right after that, Chris Neil got a lucky breakaway. Jimmah came up huge. With forty-some seconds left Drapes got called after he and his opponent both high sticked each other. The PP looked dangerous, but didn't score in that period.

The second started with a Sens PP. It was killed, but the Sens kept momentum for a couple of mins. Then the Mule wreaked havoc and got in some energy. The Wings then got a PP. Bad PP. Then a weird bounce off the glas was poked past Howard. Rafa was wrongly place and Bert didn't hold his man, who poked it in. The Wings struck back and got themselves a PP: After a lousy start Miller found Bert who sent a cross crease pass to Cleary who tapped it in. The follow up shift was dangerous, but the Wings survived. After that came a period with chances for both teams before the Wings took a penalty. Good kill. Malts almost scored while hurt on a near miss by Elliott.

The third started with good chances for both teams, but after that Detroit had the edge. The middle part of the period was very controlled and had few chances except from a freaky between the legs shot from Pasha. The Sens then had a great shift and a puck went off a Sens helmet and into the crossbar. On the next shift Helm went on attack and drew aPP. It was unsuccessful, but killed time. The Wings nicely killed off the rest of the game and Franzén scored an empty netter.

Thoughts
- Bert needs to get going.
- Damn it feels good to see Kronner.
- Somehow, national anthems aren't that bad when Karen Newman sings.
-Homer left injured. Maybe Mule gets his Olympic spot. I'd not be opposed to that.
- What a solo ride by Pasha! Sad it ended with a post.

Keys to the game
- Will Franzén continue his onslaught?
He was a bit more invisible than in the last two in the first. Then he woke up and started wreaking havoc. And he scored.

- Can the guys be more effective?
Malts sure was. And the first PP didn't take long either. HCleary couldn't miss. Nothing wrong here today.

- 60 minutes?
YES

- Jailsexed?
Jailsexed.

Play of the game
Nick's shot pass to Pasha. Amazing.

Player of the game
Pasha had an excellent game, but I will symbolically give it to Malts for his goal and his service to the Wings.

An expected letdown (ski jumping)/ Sens preview

Simon Amman from Switzerland won the small hill ski jump with two amazing jumps. Together with his two golds from 02, he now has 3 olympic golds and ties Matti Nykänen from Finland as most winning olympic jumper ever. Adam Malysz from Poland took the second place and Gregor Schlirenzauer from Austria took the bronze. The Norwegians weren't huge favourites and three of them did decently as expected with 12th, 18th ans 23rd. But our gold hope Anders Jacobsen failed in his first jump with only 99,5 meters. His second jump was much better though and he got 104 meters. He got a 9th place which is a disappointment. He blamed the nerves, which is understandable in his Olympic debut. Full results at: NRK.


Gold winner Simon Ammann

The Downhill for men is sadly postponed to Monday, but I forgot one event that will come tonight. 5000 meters skating for men. Håvard Bøkko from Norway is the sport's perennial number two and would have been a huge contender, but he has struggled with injuries lately. He has also suffered from turmoil after the team's coach, the American Peter Mueller, who he was very, very close with, was fired for sexual harassment and then allowed to stay on as Bøkko's personal trainer.

Over to the Sens game. The Sens are red frickin hot. They have won 13 of their last 14 or something. The Wings are without Lilja and a groin-injured Filppula. Kronner is back and Malts is still in. The Wings will dress 7 defensemen and Meech may play forward. It would be fantastic to get a win and a good feeling before the break. Come on guys, this is a game to win.

Keys to the game
- Will Franzén continue his onslaught?
- Can the guys be more effective?
- 60 minutes?
- Jailsexed?

Next two weeks announcement

We're about to have an olympic break here, so what's gonna happen here? Well these things:
- I am gonna follow all Wing news
- I am gonna follow the hockey tournament and especially the Red Wing players
- I am gonna write about the Norwegian hockey team
- I am gonna write about Norway and their athletes in general.
- The 22nd I go to Vienna on a student trip (lectures, sightseeing and stuff at day, party every night) and will be unable to post until I get home on the 3rd of March.

So... I am going to write a Senators preview later today, but here is a preview of today in the Olympics.

Interesting events:
- Ski jump, small hill - The most boring of the ski jump hills, but I am a bit nostalgic about it as I was present when Espen Bredesen and Lasse Ottesen had a double Norwegian victory at Lillehammer. The reigning champion is the retired Norwegian drug addict and bad boy Lars Bystøl. Trying to defend his title are four Norwegians: Anders Jacobsen, Anders Bardal, Bjorn Einar Romoren and Tom Hilde. None of them are favourites, but they all have a chance. Jacobsen is probably the best one of them.
- Downhill skiing - Aksel Lund Svindal is among the favourites
- Biathlon sprint, women - Both Tora Berger and Ann Kristin Flatland will fight for the gold, though a victory would be surprising.

To get you in the mood, here is the royal anthem, national anthem and national hymn performed in front of our royal family:

Friday, February 12, 2010

Another one

Fine old single malt scotch whisky makes you sleepy. Fact. It also tastes damn good.


Recap
The first half of the first had a PP for both teams and some SJ control. Then the Wings got another PP and Franzén scored on a nice shot off a good feed from Z. Half a minute later the Sharks tied it off a weird bounce off the boards. The Wings came back from that with pressure and got another PP. On that PP Thronton decided to try and rape Z, but no penalty was called. Instead Homer got a reputation penalty. Towards the end the Wings dominated and Pasha forced Nabby to be stellar, but the Sharks got the lead with 7 seconds left on a play where E and Stuy (mostly E) lost their mark totally. WAKE UP!

The Sharks opened the best in the second and had some great chances, but the Wings took over after that and dominated the period. Sadly they got nothing out of it, not even on the PP or on a great double chance for Pasha.

The Wings totally dominated the third and got rewarded when Williams scored with a few minutes left. Great individual effort. It wasn't counted as a goal at first, but not even Toronto could screw this one up. Sadly Detroit couldn't capitalize on a late PP.

The overtime went back and forth until the Wings got a PP that they whisky dicked.

Shootout. Say no more.

Thoughts
- I liked how Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles reffed the game. Morons.
- The Wings need consistency.
- Jonathan Ericsson and Brad Stuart should never play together again.
- On a related note, E is a forward.
- On another related note, Meech thinks he's a forward.
- Scott Nickol should be neutred and thrown to wolves.

Keys to the game
- Will Franzén continue to look good?
Oh, the Mule was sexy as always. And he scored and created chances. He was excellent.


- Will Sara and Nurse get any laughs?
How would I know?

- Sixty? Forty? Ten?
Actually close to sixty. Now they have to learn to shoot.

Play of the game
JWil's nice goal.

Player of the game
Nick had a strong one.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Shark bites

So the Sharks are up. My food is ready in five so this will be snappy. But anyway, the Wings are fucking owning the Sharks this year, so how sweet would it be to get a sweep? Yeah. Homer is apparently in (and on the fourth line?).

Keys to the game
- Will Franzén continue to look good?
- Will Sara and Nurse get any laughs?
- Sixty? Forty? Ten?

This game needs a great, gritty effort, so here you get some music to put you in the right mood:
This is what I am gonna send them on if they don't make the playoffs:


This is what we need:


And this one does not only have a mood that fits my Red Wing-fan mood perfectly. It also has one of the best vocal performances and guitar solos ever:

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Ahh, again...

Yeah, so after a couple of busy weeks, it's time for a proper game recap. Well, I fell asleep during the first commercial break, so I watched the rest now.


Recap
The Blues fot an early PP off a stupid play by Bert and that gave them a lot of momentum. They dominated the first period and not even a (bad) Detroit PP could get the Wings back in it. The Wings got the goal though, off a shot which was deflected first by the body of Helm, then Draper's skate. The Blues came back with pressure including a dangerous PP, but Jimmah stood tall.

In the second the Wings had more of the shots, but the Blues were still better. They got payoff for it. First, after a good looking Detroit PP, Perron got a little too much time and scored on a shot that went off Meech's stick. Then Kariya scored on a scramble, after Bertuzzi had made a horrible turnover and then also taken a delayed penalty.

The third started with PPs both ways and the Blues capitalized on theirs after Stuart was unable to hold up McDonald. After another Blues PP, the Wings came back and scored when Z shot a puck off Pasha's skate. Then, right before the end, Filppula won a goal mouth scramble and tied it up. The Blues pressured for the last two minutes, but Howard sent it to overtime.

Both teams had chances in the overtime, but Jimmah had the most work and did it well.

In the shootout Jimmah proved he is not a shootout goalie.

Thoughts
- Meech looked much better than Lebda
- I dislike Versus so badly.
- Bertuzzi has looked like shit lately.
- The Blues forecheck was great.
- I love Darren Helm.
- Stuart looks tired, just tired.

Keys to the game
- Julio Muleio? (Jah, das kleine ezel gewezen. Das Franzén. Jah, schnell. As you see, I speak no German)
He didn't look like he was in top shape, but showed that he has an ability to get into the right place to take a good shot.

- 60 minutes?
Hah, not even close. Maybe zero, or ten.

- Howard?
Can't be blamed for the goals. He had a strong game and secured the one point for the Wings. In the shootout though, he was horrible.

Play of the game
Meh, maybe the Dats goal. Nothing stood out.

Player of the game
Jimmah

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tuesday evening Blues

Yeah, not that excited for this one. Franzén is back, but he probably won't be huge and Homer, Eaves, Kronner and Miller are all out. This is a game the Wings really need to win, but they're probably gonna lose. I'm too tired to write anything serious after all our systems went down at work and I had to work with a backup shit system for the three last hours. So go listen to the Swedegian thing instead.

Keys to the game
- Julio Muleio?
- 60 minutes?
- Howard?
- Is it better to not write out the full questions?

Swedegian 2: Return of the Swedegian: Laugh in the faces of your announcers edition

Due to popular demand, the Swedegian is BACK! This version focuses on the Olympics and for you to get as much as possible out of it I have included some Olympic rosters, the same that I read from, after the link. It's unscripted, long and a bit rambling, but still informative. Enjoy!

Here it is!

G Jonas Gustavsson , Toronto Maple Leafs, NHL
G Stefan Liv , HV71 Jönköping
G Henrik Lundqvist , New York Rangers, NHL

D Tobias Enström , Atlanta Thrashers, NHL
D Magnus Johansson , Linköpings HC
D Niklas Kronwall , Detroit Red Wings, NHL
D Nicklas Lidström , Detroit Red Wings, NHL
D Douglas Murray , San Jose Sharks, NHL
D Johnny Oduya , New Jersey Devils, NHL
D Mattias Öhlund , Tampa Bay Lightning, NHL
D Henrik Tallinder , Buffalo Sabres, NHL

F Daniel Alfredsson , Ottawa Senators, NHL
F Nicklas Bäckström , Washington Capitals, NHL
F Loui Eriksson , Dallas Stars, NHL
F Peter Forsberg , MODO Örnsköldsvik
F Tomas Holmström , Detroit Red Wings, NHL
F Patric Hörnqvist , Nashville Predators, NHL
F Fredrik Modin , Columbus Blue Jackets, NHL
F Samuel Påhlsson , Columbus Blue Jackets, NHL
F Daniel Sedin , Vancouver Canucks, NHL
F Henrik Sedin , Vancouver Canucks, NHL
F Mattias Weinhandl , Dynamo Moscow, RUS
F Henrik Zetterberg , Detroit Red Wings, NHL


G Pål Grotnes , Stjernen Frederikstad
G Andre Lysenstøen , HeKi Heinola, FIN2
G Ruben Smith , Storhamar Dragons

D Alexander Bonsaksen , MODO Örnsköldsvik, SWE
D Jonas Holøs , Färjestad Karlstad, SWE
D Tommy Jakobsen , Lørenskog IK
D Juha Kaunismäki , Stavanger Oilers
D Lars Erik Lund , Vålerenga Oslo
D Ole Kristian Tollefsen , Philadelphia Flyers, NHL
D Mats Trygg , Kölner Haie, GER

F Mats Zuccarello Aasen , MODO Örnsköldsvik, SWE
F Morten Ask , Nuremberg Ice Tigers, GER
F Anders Bastiansen , Färjestad Karlstad, SWE
F Kristian Forsberg , MODO Örnsköldsvik, SWE
F Mads Hansen , Brynäs Gävle, SWE
F Marius Holtet , Färjestad Karlstad, SWE
F Mathis Olimb , Frölunda Gothenburg, SWE
F Martin Røymark , Frölunda Gothenburg, SWE
F Per-Åge Skrøder , MODO Örnsköldsvik, SWE
F Lars Erik Spets , Vålerenga Oslo
F Patrick Thoresen , Salavat Yulayev Ufa, RUS
F Tore Vikingstad , Hannover Scorpions, GER
F Martin Laumann Ylven , Linköpings HC, SWE

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Norwegian ale- no wait.

Not even gonna touch on the Kings game. Yet again, 38 minutes of hockey is not enough. Fuck you.

But the Wings traded Leino for a fifth round pick and Ole-Kristian Tollefsen, one of my countrymen. These are my thoughts one that, copied from a comment at BDS:
This is two thirds of a good move. Getting rid of Ville and getting a draft pick great. Getting Tollefsen too, good. Sending him down, bad move. I'm one of the guys who doesn't really want one of my countrymen on the Wings team (see the drug-addled moron named Anders Myrvold), but having Tollefsen there would have made sense. As you say he is a tough, defensive defenseman and I would like to see that. He's injury prone and now and then makes bad plays (like on Bozak's first NHL goal), but he brings things to the table that Mebdeech doesn't. He is much safer defensively, he is big and strong and he's a fighter so the Wings could just go ahead and waive Brad May. IMO May and/or Meech/Lebda should have been waived and Tollefsen should have stayed.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Justice? and Kovy ramblings

Just saw a replay of the Chipchura goal. Looks bad to me, but heck, I didn't watch the game, so I don't care that much. Won't be able to watch tomorrow either as it collides with my mates housewarming party. My own move is near done. I am gonna sleep in my new place for the first time tonight and hopefully be finnished moving by Sunday or Monday (and I got internet here today. YAY! Forgot to buy a HDMI cable though, so I won't be able to watch Kovalchuk's Devils debut on my new TV (only on my computer screen). Anywho.. two things:

1. The Kovalchuk deal surprised me because:
- It's not really Devils like to sign a guy like that is it?
- While I knew his value was fastly declining I still think they should have gotten more.
- There were no really good players going the other way.
- But damn, Parise and Kovy on the same team... Yowza!

2. Inspired by the Chipchura goal, I present you the first song I ever sang lead on live: And Justice for...One. BTW, man I miss that lead guitarist. How great is he?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sharks, Ducks and MIA

As I said, this moving thing is putting everything else on hold, so I've been a bit off on my blogging this week. The Sharks game I turned off to get some sleep when the score was 2-0. Started watching the rest last night and was pleasantly surprised. The Ducks game I just dropped, but the result seems pretty bad. Now we really need a win against the Kings (a game I won't be able to see live as I'm going to a party (wow, I have a social life now)! Some thoughts on the Sharks game:
- The Wings started badly, but dominated from their first goal and on out.
- The first goal was maybe bad by both Rafa and Z, but mainly it's on Jimmah. Bad rebound to give out. The second was a rebound he had to give, but Stuy should have held Thornton off.
- The Wings scored four great goals and all the lines seemed really good.
- I think I saw Bert outskate a guy!?!?!
- I have little time do research, so can anyone tell me if we know how bad Kronner's injury is?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Mud Shark(s) (and a competition! And Norwegian music!)

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but first I helped a mate move and then I took over my new appartment yesterday. As of now I have managed to buy a sofa/bed, a huge closet, two book shelves (I own a freakish amount of books and read 1-3 books per week at least) and two cd/dvd shelves. I have only assembled the sofa/bed and the closet (sans interior as of now), so I will have to put in quite a lot of work to get it done and move. So during that time my posts might be a bit infrequent as I will have little time and generally be burnt out. I will also be completely AWOL from February 22nd to March 3rd due to a student trip to Vienna.

Over to the game at hand. The lineup remains the same, except for the fact that E is out and Meech is in. Okay, that might help, who knows. Not much more to say about this game except that the Wings will need to find a completely different compete level. Let's take home 2 points!

Keys to the game
- Can the Wings compete for 60 full minutes?
- How will Babs's line juggling affect the game?
- Jimmah!?!

Competition
This post gets its title from a piece of rock history/mythology. In the bottom of this paragraph I will post a link to a quite amazing and funny suite of songs by Frank Zappa which mentions the phrase Mud Shark. These are the first 4 songs on his Apostrophe album. I will not link to the actual song of his called the Mud Shark seeing as a) I don't like it much, b) it gives too much away, and c) it seems to be inaccurate. So, onto the competition: The first person who in the comments section gives me a decent rundown of the infamous Mudshark incident gets to give me a topic related to hockey that I have to write a post about. So come on, get to it.



Norwegian lesson
Hey, let's take a look at some Norwegian classics. These might not be the best selling Norwegian songs, but they are my favourites. For the songs that are sung in Norwegian I might provide rough lyric translations if you request them, so let's have a look. I don't expect anyone to listen to them all at once, but take a few at a time. You will not regret it:

The first one is a classic, you all know it. It's awesome and metal 100 years before metal existed. Trivia: Norwegian title: I Dovregubbens Hall


Now I would like to show you a couple of songs by the best Norwegian band ever De Lillos. They are a pop/rock band with awesome melodies and charmingly naive lyrics (which will be lost on you guys, again, I might translate later). The singing is a bit off key, but very cool in its own way. Very popular band. This first song is called Suser Avgårde (Rushing Off) and is from their debut (recently called the best Norwegian album ever in a major newspaper). It's about walking home drunk through Oslo. It's the best anthem to Oslo that has ever been written, I couldn't find a video of the whole original, so I post one vid with half the song and then a newer acoustic version by the singer/guitarist, set to images of the Oslo tram:




Then there is a song they made called Kokken Tor (Thor the cook) which is a great rocker about an agressive and slightly homoerotic seaman:


Lastly (though I could have thrown in 10 more) comes a darker piece called Hjernen er alene (The brain is alone) about the singer being 16 and alone at his family's summer house right after his mom died. It is dark, weird and haunting and I can relate to the subject. Sadly I cannot find it on Youtube, so bring you the heavier version by another Norwegian band called Seigmenn. They're dark and grungy rock from Tønsberg. My band does an even heavier version of this version:


Another Seigmenn song, this time an original called Døderlein (not really a word, Død=death, døder might be Deather. Lein might be a name). It's dark, warped and heavy as shit:


Over to another Norwegian pop group. This one is called De Derre. The singer is called Jo Nesbø and is now internationally known as a crim fiction writer. This song is called Jenter (girls) and is about a friend of my dad actually. Their biggest hit:


Now, I'd be remis not to mention Jokke. He was a great rock musician who died too early from drugs and alcohol. After his death he's been overhyped, but I like some of his older, less known songs. This one is called Tempo and is about a French comic magazine:


Now, for the second last song, let's go a bit dirtier. This one is by the defunct Norwegian band Turbonegro. They were never good musicians, but wrote funny, catchy tunes and was a great, energetic and hilarious live band. This song is about making pizza at a pizza place close to where my band used to rehearse. It's called the Age of Pamparius:


As the last song, I guess I have to feature som Black Metal. I am not a big fan of the genre, but Dimmu Borgir has some great stuff. This one is called the Serpentine Offering:


Enjoy!